Hey nascent agents out there working in some fetid mail room: this could be your big chance to begin your rise to the top of the heap at CAA, William Morris, UTA, ICM, Gersh, Yonah Shimel, NSA, whatever. Yes, I have in my hands several secretly prepared screenplays about you-know-what and other matters (concerning which you know nothing - yet) that all Hollywood will be abuzz over, once it gets its gentle well perfumed hands on them. However, because of my recently diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome, I am incapable of doing the social work of pitching these gems myself to those of my fellow tribesmen who are said to control Hollywood (and when do I get to go to one of the secret meetings?). What I need for that purpose is a literary agent who specializes in this sort of thing, based either here or in New York, who is a signatory to the Writers Guild of America. And, like my parents, you don't have to be Jewish!
If you have any serious leads, please contact my conscience at the following email address: RABBIGADOL@YAHOO.COM with some reasons why this person would be appropriate for a man of my needs and talents. Remember, there is more to me than just prayer and religious study.