Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Deconstructing the Torah of Desire

Rabbi Jeremy Hershy Worch returns with a blog from Istanbul, Turkey.

A woman who says she was abused by rabbi Worch provides this commentary:

Dear Kabbalah Students of Reb Hershy:

This handy translation should help you in getting through the double-speak of your rebbe's teachings.

Deconstructing the Torah of Desire (The Torah of Manipulation)

The idea that God has desire and that the desire can change, is not so big a problem for anyone trying to flee their adult responsibilities of financially supporting their children and take responsibility for being a serial sex abuser. For example: It is written in Genesis: "These are the chronicles of heaven and earth, on the day that God the Lord created them," teaching us, says the Kabbalah, that He creates worlds and destroys them, saying, "These don't please me, but these do, and Behold, you Defiler of My Name, your days are numbered." Another example: On the one hand
it is written God had regrets in his heart, while on the other it is written, (1 Samuel 15) God is not a man to have regrets. How do we deal with the concept
of the Creator changing in any way, it runs contrary to every axiom upon which kabbalah is built. But I know I'll never be able to out-run the sinking feeling
God is full of horrible regret for the day I emerged into this world.

Listen, it is not desire for things which keeps us alive, it's desire for pursuing my deeply misogynistic desires for non-consensual hypno-erotic kinky BDSM sex
with as many vulnerable and inexperienced women as possible that keeps us going, and desire for finding as many women as possible I can dupe into supporting me financially. It's not as important to have an object of desire as it is to have desire to flee our financial responsibilities for raising our children. Now, in order to get at the root of desire we must learn to let go of the desire to support our children itself.

Letting-go of our adult responsibilities is built into the kabbalisitc understanding of the divine. Look at this Midrash: Torah is called "a hidden treasure", the angels ask God "why do you give it away, is it not Your secret desire?" In other words, I am COMMANDED to put the pursuit of all my deranged manipulative sexual pleasures ahead of my family.

But the angels don't understand what we each know intuitively, that the essence of every secret desire is to let go of all of our guilt about our criminal actions, and get in touch with the desire itself. So God gives the Torah away, but cannot let go of us, even though he's deeply ashamed that I still use the "Rabbi" title. Pushes us away while holding on with both hands, (even though He feels He's immersed them
in excrement when holding on to me,) creating strong tensions in the universe. A tearing in the divine self, between holding on and letting go, between playing with the object of desire in my SM bondage dungeon, or letting go and connecting to the essence of desire. Because we, humans represent the essence of desire. Not as objects - at least for us predatory sexually abusive men, but the women remain objects - not as desired things, we are psychosis itself and God wants to be in touch with us, to experience us - in order to know exactly how far he should cast us into the furthest reaches of the flames of the abyss.

It's only when we insist on being and acting like completely narcissistic, self-serving manipulative predatory soul-rapists that we create tension in the universe, when we insist on being the so-called 'victim' of so many 'deranged' women. We objectify ourselves. (If you need help with that, just call me.) God wants us (me especially) to stop. To realise I am the lowest of the low, a sick pathetic spoiled little boy who refuses to take responsibility for his actions. To do that, I would have to move back to the U.S., grow up, find a job even if it's menial labor
and support my children, to stop obssessing about objects of my desire that compel me to manipulate and sexually abuse women, and get in touch with that part of myself where desire for forgiveness is experienced for itself, to experience exactly how much of a twisted, shrunken-souled waste of walking DNA that I truly am.

Istanbul, Turkey.

Well, that's one perspective.