Heidi Klum is Betrothed to Seal

Supermodel Heidi Klum is engaged to be married to the negro entertainer Seal. I know that according to the social norms of my kehilla, this should either please me (as per Disney, MTV, secular Judaism in general) or be of no interest to me (Torah Jews do not mind when two goyim of different races marry), and yet it does. When I look in the mirror every morning to shave the whiskers that my testosterone has erected from my skin, I still see a white man looking back at me.