From FrumSex: My friend Chaim Oizer wasn't the first of my friends to get married. I had a brocha under the chupah at Yisroel Meir's chassunah and Boruch Ber's chassunah before I was asked to say a brocha under Chaim Oizer's wedding too. People say it's a segulah for a shidduch
to participate in a chasunah so lets hope I'm zoicha to meet my bashert, bezras hashem.
Well, the chasuhan went off without a hitch and the seudas mitzvah was going fine. I had already danced with the chosson, who was having a rakida with the Rosh Hayeshiva. Now, it was time to do the horah, and it wasn't what it's all about for me, so I sat it out. I was strolling amongst the yungerleit and I noticed Chaim Oizer's cousin Gitty, who was trying to keep her eight kids, all under the age of
10, from tripping people while running around like mishugoyim.
Gitty's husband, Zev Laib, was across the room talking with the mashgiach, not paying any attention to them. As is the custom in Lakewood, it's not pahst for a kollel yungerman to be oisek in vaibisha zachin, so he ignored the whole thing.I walked over to shmooze with her because she seemed like she needed an adult to talk
to.
"Nu, Gitty, vus hertach?" I asked politely.
"Well, I'm mamesh tzefloigen with the kinderluch. Kindurluch, go to Tatty and Geb Sholom to the mashigiach." They ran across the room and played tag running around and through their tatty's legs. Annoyed he shot a glance at Gitty. How dare she cause him to be bitul toirah? Couldn't she see the mashgiach was saying over a gevaldika vort?
She smiled and waved at him, then continued to talk with me.
"They need to spend more time with him anyway, He spends all day in Kollel then comes home at night and chazzers over the sugia, then he leaves for shachris to daven with the neitz, so they never see him, nebuch" she confided.
"I hear" I said, glancing at Zev Laib.
"And I don't think he even wants to spend time with them either, he holds its bitul zman. Kindurluch are great, wait till you get married."
I laughed, "I've been on a thousand shidduch dates and I can't find my bashert, I mamesh farshtered."
"Really? A ben toirah with yichus like you can't find a shidduch,? That's mamesh not shiach," she said.
"Well, I guess I haven't met the right girl yet." We walked together to a less noisy place where there were only a few people having conversations.
"Yeah, the last girl I went out with told the shadchun she thought I wanted to work. The next girl wanted to go to college, rachmunah l'tzlun and the girl before that's father didn't have money to support me in kollel." I explained.
"Zev Laib and I haven't had biah since Tovah was born. She's six months now, that's a long time. It's not that I don't want it, I just gave it up when he didn't ask me about going to the mikvah for three months straight. He's too busy in kollel and I guess I just got fat and ugly," We continued walking. I was shocked. How could a bas yisroel talk like this? She was an ohr ainikle of a well known Godol! But, given the fact that the only biah I'd had in life had been with another bochur in Telz-Cleveland, I got a hirhur avairah just from her speaking with such a prustkeit.
"Well, maybe with all those kinderluch you just remind him of his mother. That would dampen his chaishik a lot. You don't remind me of my mother, you're look shtotty," I laughed.
.............
XXX writes: "Bad enough so many people here speak spanish, but now this? Luke, kindly translate this for the benefit of those of your readers who do not speak Esperanto, or whatever they are jabbering in."
Luke says: "No way! I don't want the goyim to find out."
Marc sighs: "Ah, if only the stories in Penthouse Forum were this lively."
Anonymous said: "But, given the fact that the only biah I'd had in life had been with another bochur in Telz-Cleveland," So after all this, the bottom line is that this guy is a fag?
