Gentle Readers, I look upon my ever dwindling pile of shekels and I wonder how I might impress any potential marriage candidates? My straits are dire indeed. The simple facts are that marriage requires courtship, courtship requires dates, and dates require money.
Begging, like working, is certainly beneath me so I am initiating Your Moral Leader's first annual coupon drive. The coupons that you donate to me will multiply the effectivity of my severely limited funds. Simply put, your 2-for-1 dining coupons will double my number of dates, thereby doubling my potential for a blessed love match.
Remember, only coupons for eating establishment with suitable kosher and vegetarian menu items will be accepted. I would also appreciate any free samples that my readers might have laying around of Grecian Formula, Japanese slim fit condoms, and pharmaceutical samples of Levitra.
