Forward assistant managing editor E.J. Kessler (who used to work the paper's religion beat) writes Protocols: "[A]m I the only one who thinks all that stuff in Luke's post about 'Muslims, blacks and Hispanics pouring out babies' and 'using their vaginas as cannons' sounds racist? Luke, dear, if women are procreating, it is part of God's plan. God does not care what religion or color they are. Nor should you. I defy any rabbi to tell you differently, and if he does we should expose him."
I reply: Eve, dear, is it part of God's plan to have women outside of marriage give birth to children who will disproportionately commit crimes and other social pathologies? Is it part of God's plan for women who want to destroy the Jewish state and for their children to blow themselves up killing innocent Jews to have more kids?
Eve, dear, do you think illegal Mexican immigrants and their children will be as friendly to Jewish interests as those legally here and raised with American values?
Sometimes things can be racist and right. Even Jesse Jackson says he would be more scared to run into a group of young black men at night than a group of young white men.
Eve Kessler responds: "The answer to your questions are, yes, yes and yes, bc we can't know God's providence. The point was about your language, dear. I didn't say your utterance WAS racist or makes you a racist. I said it SOUNDS racist. By the way, you could have gotten 10 awards for your work with Mexicans and still SOUND racist. Your utterance is also pointless, bc there's not a damn thing you can do to stop the phenomena against which you rail. So what's the point? To denigrate people? To get Jews to scowl every time they see a pregnant black or Muslim? Such language will not motivate anyone to create a single new Jewish child. To quote Stevie Wonder, 'Love's in need of love today. So don't delay. Send yours in right away.' PS, I would never have bothered to write the comment if I thought you were an irredeemable racist. It was a product of my affection."
I marched with Martin Luther King in Selmba Alabama so that blacks could have the right to vote. I was arm-in-arm with Abraham Joshua Heschel. After King was shot, I cradled him.
When I wanted to give tours of scenic Los Angeles, legal Mexican immigrants volunteered to help me out to repay my kindness to their people (I often buy fruit from their street vendors).
Kaspar Gomez writes Luke: Halo! My cousin Hector wants to know if you would be interested in providing your guests with food. We could follow you around LA with our taco wagon to serve your guests authentic Mexican cooking and sodas. Also, we can provide you with janitorial services, in case someone on your tour bus has any sort of an accident.
Fischel Teitelbaum writes Luke: Shalom Chaver! How was your Shavouos? Normally, this is a very happy time in Brooklyn, but not this year, not in Crown Heights. The grandaughter of the Satmar Rebbe and her baby were killed in a fire started by some candles. Then, yesterday, four Bobover yeshiva buchers were stabbed by a gang of 15 peurtoricans. Maybe connected to their big parade on sunday. Lots of peurtoricans. Lots. Oy, these people are even worse than the colored. And the emes is that lots of them are colored!
What do you think Luke, do you have peurto ricans in Los Angeles? I hope not! I still want to move to Los Angeles and meet your hot and sexy porno girlfriends! Mazel tov on your new tourism business. Could you use a tour leader to tell the tourists what they are seeing? Fischel could do that! I could go on a few tours and then i would pick up all they say and see. Then you could sleep late, daven late, study torah while I work as employee nomber one!
DISCLAIMER: Mr. Ford is a 38 year old Australian immigrant. He has never been married, lives in a hovel, has been expelled from half a dozen synagogues and an uncountable number of women's lives, drives a vehicle which by itself is estimated to account for close to 30% of the hole in the ozone layer, was formerly the porn industry's lead gossip columnist, currently has no discernible income, his most lasting work seems to be his quest for morbid obesity, and by almost any objective standard, contributes far less to American society on any given day than your average Mexican migrant farm-hand or slaughter-house worker.
