Monday, August 30, 2004

How many hours do you spend watching TV shows with her you would rather not watch?

How many hours do you spend having stupid conversations with your GF (per week)?

How many hours do you spend watching TV shows with her you would rather not watch (per week)?

How many hours do you spend doing other stupid things with her you would rather not do (per week)?

..........

I found the above hilarious because it mirrors my life experience. I've watched a lot of stupid TV shows with girls to achieve higher objectives - keruving them into Orthodox Judaism (haven't succeeded yet but I'm still trying).

Reb Yudel writes: The survey ommitted a few important questions:

* How many hours does *she* spend watching TV shows she would rather not watch?

* How many of those TV shows are more fun because of her comments?

* How many hours of wonderful discussions do you have a week?

* How many hours spent doing stupid things you would rather not do are more bearable because you are doing them together?

The Rebbe of the Sin Biz

Cecile du Bois imagines my honeymoon.

When She Wants Something

My wife reached a point where she only uses sex to get something, and she doesn't happen to want anything at the moment.

But What Does The Torah Have To Say?

I made my weekly 90-minute visit to my healer/biofeedback guy. He said I need to wear lighter colors. That my perpetual black attire holds in my negative energy.

I wondered what Judaism's sacred texts have to say about this matter.

"No more of that. We're married now"

When we were changing for the reception after the wedding and I tried to kiss her (and after 3 years of mind-bending ---), my wife of 45 minutes said "No more of that. We're married now."

Ruth Shalit's Fiance Converts To Judaism

Cathy Seipp writes: Cecile and I went to see Ruth Shalit's fiance, Rob Barrett, convert to Judaism Friday night [at a Reform temple]. They're getting married in New York in a Jewish ceremony this coming weekend. The New York Times Sunday Styles will have an item about the wedding on Sept. 5, which Cecile is especially looking foward to reading, as she loves those wedding announcements. Because Ruth and Rob moved to L.A. a little over a year ago they don't know that many Jews here who can, as Ruth put it, "joyfully welcome Rob into the community," so we were happy to be there, along with some other friends.

It was a lovely, moving ceremony, and Rob looked very fine carrying the Torah around the outdoor chapel. But he didn't look any more Jewish than he did before his conversion. He still looked exactly like who he is: Henry Robertson Barrett IV. We got him the paperback of "Goodbye, Columbus" as a joyfully-welcoming-him-into-the-community conversion present.

Afterwards we all went to Canter's, one of those not terribly good restaurants that I'm nevertheless very fond of because I've lived in L.A. so long and have been there so many times.

Lord Peter Luther Christian OBE writes: It truly is shameful for a Christian man to abandon the love of Christ Jesus for the temporal and temporary pleasures of a woman's love for him, if love indeed be what it is. Better that she should accept him as he is, cross and all.

Do your rabbis accept such conversions as authentic?

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Dwight Owen Schweitzer Of The Jewish Star Times

In December 2002, I read two articles online from the Miami Herald about Dwight Owen Schweitzer. He was the editor and publisher of the now defunct The Jewish Star Times. He'd been arrested [but never prosecuted] for allegedly kicking a hooker, whom he had befriended three days before.

I laughed and laughed.

Today I interviewed him.

Tickled To Death

I just got back from a half-hour appointment where a very naughty doctor and nurse spent half an hour tickling me from head to toe. The thing is, I was strapped down completely: arms, legs, torso. And they found my super ticklish spot, which really got me. They said they never had a patient like me before. You see, I am SOOOO ticklish that I scream and cry, I just can't take it!!! Somehow I still enjoyed the whole process. There is a good feeling that comes with being totally exhausted... My therapist had recommended I do this to channel my aggressions. It's better than lithium.

Israeli Spy In Pentagon?

WASHINGTON, Aug. 28 - The F.B.I. is in communication with a Pentagon official suspected of passing secrets to Israel and is seeking to gain his cooperation in their espionage investigation, government officials said.

The Pentagon official, Larry Franklin, a midlevel analyst who works in the policy office of the Defense Department, has been in contact with investigators with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, officials said. It could not be learned whether he was talking with the bureau directly or through a lawyer.

Government officials say they suspect that Mr. Franklin provided classified documents to officials at the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, a major pro-Israel lobbying group in Washington, and that the group in turn handed the materials over to Israeli intelligence. Both the lobbying group and the Israeli government have denied any misconduct.

Reb Yudel writes: The place to go for coverage of this story is Laura Rozen's blog, http://www.warandpiece.com. Rozen was working with Joshua Micha Marshall (http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com) and the Washington Monthly on an article about Feith's rogue Iranian policy.

Amidsts the wildly anti-semitic comments on her blog is a lot of speculation about who leaked this and why,and what the broader background is.

The Problems With Jewish Journalism

Here are some of my opinions (composed after conducting my interviews) on what is wrong with Jewish journalism.

#1. Failure of imagination.

Jewish journalism is predictable. It rarely catches the reader offguard. You read the headline and you know the story. There’s no need to read more. It’s just the same old actors on the Jewish stage repeating the same old lines. To hold the attention of an infant or an adult, you have to defy expectations.

#2. Lack of courage.

Why would you want to write something critical about somebody you will see again? This particularly applies to fellow Jewish journalists. Not one, except Yossi Abramowitz, was willing to offer me an on-the-record criticism of Gary Rosenblatt, “Mr. Jewish Journalism,” even though the quality of the journalism he’s published has declined dramatically at The Jewish Week compared to his previous employer, the independent Baltimore Jewish Times.

#3. Lack of clarity on mission.

You can be good. You can be truthful. You can be kind. You can investigate. But neither an individual nor a newspaper can do all these things equally well. Jewish newspapers need to clarify if they are primarily in the propaganda game (which is where I would place all Jewish weeklies except the Forward) or in the news game. You need to know what your primary mission is. Is it to report the news in your community or is to act omnisciently in the best interests of the community by frequently withholding the news (the stance of virtually all Jewish weeklies except the Forward)?

#4. Lack of technique.

It is rare to read a Jewish weekly and feel that you are right there in the story. To emotionally rivet the reader, you must:
• Employ scene-by-scene construction moving towards a climax. There must be desire, struggle and realization, the three acts of a screenplay.
• Realistic dialogue.
• Abundant attention to status details.
• Multiple points of view.

#5. Stuck in the past.

Blogs are an increasingly preferred way of getting news, yet few if any Jewish newspapers offer blogs, or use blogging techniques in their print editions. First person news accounts written with attitude can be more interesting and powerful than the old standby objective stance. There’s no inherent reason why the journalist writing a news story has to be less interesting than the people he’s writing on. Jewish journalism could develop stars by allowing those with talent to experiment with different techniques of telling a news story. We need more Yossi Klein Halevis.

#6. Desire to be loved.

Many Jewish journalists yearn to be loved by their readers (or, have more fear of being hated than desire to be respected). This attitude rarely makes for compelling reading. We need more J.J. Goldbergs who place their commitment to journalism above their desire to be popular.

# 7. Delusions of grandeur.

Jewish weeklies could do a good job of covering their community if they wanted to, but most of them, particularly the Jewish Journal, suffer from delusions of grandeur. They devote considerable resources to national and international stories where they have no expertise. They are rarely going to improve on what The New York Times has to offer on Israel or national politics, but they insist on publishing second rate material anyway because it makes them feel like they are big time.

#8 Unwillingness to treat religion with the same seriousness and specificity that it treats politics.

That’s where The New Rabbi was revolutionary. It gave a large synagogue the same treatment other institutions of similar size receive routinely.

#9 If you only publish positive book reviews, you don’t take ideas seriously.

The only weekly that takes books seriously is the Forward. All the others treat Jewish authors with kid gloves.

#10 Sensitivity, tact, restraint are only three good traits among many.

Some stories call for insensitivity, tactlessness, and lack of restraint.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Do You Want To Marry Luke Ford?

Of course you do!

Oh, I suppose if you brainstormed for a hundred thousand million billion zillion years you might be able to come up with one lame reason not to marry Luke. But you don't have the time. Your biological clock is ticking, and Luke isn't getting any younger (or thinner) either.

Where to begin your quest to become Mrs Luke Ford?

These days a (good) man is hard to find, and a (very good) man, like Luke Ford, is especially rare. To snare such a man will take lots of initiative, dedication, and saleswomanship. Let's face facts, ladies. When it comes to romance, it's a buyer's market and you're selling.

Preparation is the key. This means reading everything you can find on Luke Ford.

What is a producer exactly?

Rodger Jacobs writes: In Hollywood, most people will tell you that the term has various definitions but in Luke Ford's massive exploration -- nearly seventy interviews with film and television producers, some whose name you may know, others who have been relegated to obscurity -- what emerges is a portrait of the producer as artist.

Don Phillips' tale of the making of the groundbreaking "small" film "Melvin and Howard" is worth the cover price alone. Did you know that Jack Nicholson and Mike Nichols were nearly attached to the picture? (Phillips didn't want to wait a year for Jack's availability)Elvis Presley was next considered for the role of Melvin Dumar:

"Elvis was on his last leg," Phillips tells Ford. "He was fat and jowly and passed out."

Elvis agreed, in June 1997, to do the film after he finished his latest concert tour. Six weeks later the legend was dead.

On a related note, producer Judd Bernard's anecdote about actress Annette Day -- who starred in only one film, "Double Trouble", a 1967 Elvis Presely vehicle -- was so telling about the capriciousness of show biz and life in general that I adapted the tale into my new play about an obsolete Hollywood producer, "Last Summer at the Marmont."

Among the other notable names in the book -- and there are many -- are TV wizard Stephen J. Cannell (God bless "The Rockford Files" and keep it in syndication for many years to come), Jay Bernstein, and a particularly touching interview with the late Edgar J. Scherick, creator of ABC's "Wide World Of Sports."

I have known Luke Ford in both a personal and professional capacity for almost seven years now. Often I have been one of his biggest detractors. "The Producers: Profiles in Frustration" is a piece of work that I would never thought an autodidact like Luke capable of, namely a book that is a must-read for anyone contemplating a career in the entertainment industry and, more importantly, the unknowing millions who believe that producers are nothing more or less than Hollywood fat cats with a cigar in one cheek and a bikini-clad babe in their lap. The interviews in this book prove that in the Hollywood food chain, producers are too often overlooked as -- dare I say it? -- fountains of creativity.

Friday, August 27, 2004

'Don't Defame Me'

From JTA.org: The former editor of a Florida Jewish newspaper is suing The Miami Herald for defamation.

Dwight Owen Schweitzer, who served as editor and publisher of the now-defunct Jewish Star Times, which was owned by The Miami Herald, says the Herald defamed him in two “false and misleading stories” published in December 2002. The stories reported that Schweitzer was charged with misdemeanor battery for an incident involving an altercation with a prostitute at Schweitzer’s home.

Jeffrey Wells: 'Low-Key Genius In Luke Ford's The Producers: Profiles In Frustration'

Jeffrey Wells writes: There's a kind of low-key genius in Luke Ford's "The Producers: Profiles in Frustration" (iUniverse), a just-released book composed of question-and-answer interviews Ford did with 68 producers. It's in his decision not to write a damn thing about who these people are or what any of it finally means. He lets them say it, and lets us draw our conclusions, and that's that.

This is hardly an original approach, but it sure gives you food for thought and then some. In a way you can almost feel THE PRODUCERS: PROFILES IN FRUSTRATION taking flight inside you after you've finished reading it, like a bird. Because it's not just about "producers," but the life force inside the practitioners of this profession.

Ford, an ace-level gossiper and story-teller (his website, www.lukeford. net, has lots of telling Hollywood profiles, including one about me), has, in any event, chosen his subjects well.

Top Ten Rabbis

Chakira's top ten list of most influential [Orthodox] rabbis:

* Rabbi Mattisyahu Solomon

* Rabbi Hershel Schachter

* Rabbi Avi Weiss

* Rabbi Aharon Teitelbaum

* Rabbi Henoch Leibowitz

* Rabbi Herman Neuberger

* Rabbi Norman Lamm

* Rabbi Elya Svei

* Rabbi Jack “Yaakov” Perlow

* Rabbi Kenneth Brander

Some that didn’t make the cut: The Bobover, Rabbi Willig, Rabbi A Schechter, Rabbi A. Feldman, Rabbi A. Kaufman (Waterbury), Rabbi JJ Schachter, Rabbi H. Lookstein, Rabbi Y. Krinsky, Rabbi K. Auman, Rabbi Y. Blau, Rabbi S. Carmy, Rabbi M. Kotler, Rabbi A. Kotler, Rabbi D. Feinstein, Rabbi E. Greenblatt, Rabbi A. Shafran, Rabbi M. Klein, Rabbi Y. Abbadi, Rabbi J.D. Bleich, Rabbi S. Greenberg, Rabbi Y. Belsky, Rabbi M. Heinemann, Rabbi T.H. Wienreb, Rabbi M.D. Tendler, Rabbi R. Feinstein, Rabbi E. Feldman...

Menahem Butler IMs Chakira: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WRITING Rabbi Hershel “The Monkey” Schachter U HAVE NO RESPECT FOR GEDOLIM!

i'm sorry, but i cant speak to you anymore. u crossed the line with this post. please dont IM me again

Chakira tells Luke: ppl were mad pissed at me. they were telling me im going to hell

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Professor Mark Silk Interview

I call professor Mark Silk, who's Jewish, Thursday, August 26, 2004.

Mark Silk was named the founding director of the Center and adjunct associate professor of religion at Trinity in July of 1996. He is also editor of Religion in the News magazine. He joined the Center from The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, where he worked for nine years as a reporter, editorial writer, and columnist. He holds a bachelor's degree and a doctorate in medieval history from Harvard University, where he taught from 1983 to 1985. Silk also edited the Boston Review from 1985 to 1987. Silk is the author of Unsecular Media: Making News of Religion in America (1995) and Spiritual Politics: Religion and American Society Since World War II (1988). He co-wrote, with his late father, New York Times economics columnist Leonard Silk, The American Establishment (1989) and Making Capitalism Work (1997).

Naming The Woman

Marty Kraar. He was head of CJF (Council of Jewish Federations) for ten years. He was at the end of a marriage. He had a sexual affair with a woman in her 20s, Liz Hollander, who worked under him at the CJF. After he ended their affair, she threatened a lawsuit in 1999 against Kraar and the Federation (spearheaded by her New Jersey father, Sandy, a lawyer with The Jewish Agency). News coverage was slow. Liz moved to Israel and had at least one more affair with a married man (in Marty's Israel's office, broke up a family south of Beersheva with four kids) and then a relationship with a Holocaust survivor who worked for the Jewish World Service. In most, if not all, of the press coverage, only Marty, not the woman, got named. Marty remarried. Liz apparently resented that. Apparently, the Federation gave her about $60,000 to kill a lawsuit.

David Twersky (head of MetroWest Jewish News at the time, now called New Jersey Jewish News) says: "Gary Rosenblatt wrote a signed editorial about it. Marty was furious. He said to me that I had to write a response. I wouldn't do it. The woman involved, her parents lived in Metro-West [the district of Twersky's Jersey Jewish News]. I thought there was no point in dragging them through the mud on this. There's no higher goal here. Marty Kraar's done. He's not going to become the head of this new entity UJA. I can't save him or do him in. It's been aired in a gigantic Jewish forum. If I go after this any further, I am going to do to that particular family what Philip Roth did to the parents [Patimkins in the novela] of the girl in Goodbye, Columbus. There are still people in my synagogue who do not forgive Phil Roth."

'I imagine he must be very lonely'

From a profile of James Taranto: Yet as he’s risen steadily in his profession, Taranto has remained, by his friends’ account, much the same geek he was back in his L.A. adolescence. “I imagine he must be very lonely, as are many talented writers I’ve come across,” says Laurel Touby of Mediabistro. “Regular people have trouble relating to him. I recall hosting parties, and women would later ask me, ‘Who is that guy?’ because he was so intense. He’s a force, a bigger-than-life brain at a party. People are used to idle chitchat, and he would be in there with serious issues. Girls can’t wait to get out of there.”

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Rabbi Mordecai Tendler Accused Of Sexual Harassment

Rabbinical Council Is Probing Claims of Sexual Harassment
By Rukhl Schaechter
August 27, 2004

The main union of Modern Orthodox rabbis is investigating allegations of sexual harassment against the scion of a prominent rabbinic family, the Forward has learned.

Officials at the Rabbinical Council of America, an organization representing more than 1,000 Orthodox clergymen, confirmed that the organization is examining sexual harassment allegations against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler. He is a son of Yeshiva University professor Rabbi Moshe Tendler, a leading Orthodox arbiter of bioethical issues, and a grandson of the late Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, the Orthodox world's most respected religious arbiter for much of the 20th century.

Plastic Surgery To Look More Jewish

Jerry writes: Mr. Ford,

Having noticed you on several links pages (Defamer, A Fly on the Wall, etc.) I popped over to your site one day to have a look around. Your profiles and personal history alone ate up several work hours . I cheeked out your print publications and found that, indeed as popular opinion has it, you are not a "good" writer (whatever that means) but I was struck by your chutzpa. (Did I spell that word right?) You have a straight-ahead, brain-on-the-sleeve style that makes up for your apparent lack of talent.

However, what most impressed me was the story of your conversion to Judaism from Christianity; a particularly Conservative branch of Judaism which you are happy to bring up before a hat is even thought about being dropped.

I like it.

I know it is not easy to convert and I applaud the hard work you put it to meet your goal. But if you don't mind me asking, admittedly this is a shallow question, please pardon me- but did you surgically alter your looks as well to look more "Jewish?" The reason I ask is because you look EXACTLY like my roommate from college.

Uncanny.

Finally, I wanted to clear up a rumor that floats (is floating?) around that you converted to Judaism in order to further your career in the United States? I told my media-savvy friend that the gossip mongers, obviously upset at the lack of success they have cobbled together in the Holy Land, are just green in the face at the success you have achieved.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Luke Makes Great Reading

Gene Ross says to head for the hills when it's your turn.

I found a great book over the weekend - The Rule of Four. I predict that it'll be this year's The DaVinci Code. I couldn't put it down until, that is, I started reading Luke Ford's XXX-Communicated: A Rebel Without a Shul - about a gossip monger's spiritual journey through the Valley. Put it this way. When you got four naked girls running around a house - such as it was on Mitch Spinelli's shoot - and you're rather turn to the next page for amusement, you know you got a book to grab your... by.

Luke, the Internet guy who did it before any of us, certainly knows how to push buttons, and I found myself drooling over sentences that I never expected to see printed in a legitimate format. Yeah, Luke even whacks me on a couple of occasions. And, truth be told, I busted his balls when I was over at AVN, so why not. But I would feel safe to say that he and I have come to a mutual accord regarding specific industry sacred cows and see the filet for what it truly is.

And Luke's book, which even does the gotcha on himself, swings the verbal machete without compromise. My only criticism - and I've already told this to Luke - is that the book should have been twice the size. Three times the size. Not only because he has the material for it, but the exhilaration of reading about familiar names and faces described in a context they deserve is revenge best served cold...and calculating.

Okay. Let's get into it. Mark Kernes who he describes as prone to falling asleep at any moment. "Which is why he was removed as managing editor [at AVN]," writes Ford. And I should know because I did the removing.

"Mark's old and ugly," Ford continues. "He loves porn and hates its critics. Fond of wearing suspenders and thinking of himself as a lawyer [he was once a court reporter], he looks at the world through beady, suspicious, pig-like eyes, squinting between jowls of fat."

And this is just for openers. Jenna, move aside. A whole new batch of soundbites are in town.

Two Points On Yossi Klein Halevi

Jonathan Mark of The Jewish Week writes: Two points on Yossi Klein Halevi. You can't bust Yossi for writing Loshon Hara about "Steinhartz" at New Jewish Times. Yossi was using a psudonym for the real individual, who was every bit as sleazy as described. That Yossi doesn't use the person's real name can only testify to Yossi's discretion, a remarkable kindness in this instance. You can't "loshon hara" someone if you hide that someone's identity.

Second, not all "scoops" are the same, and it's meaningless to hold Yossi to an arbitrary standard for what a writer should be writing. Knocking Yossi for not having scoops is like busting DiMaggio for not dating redheads. Give the man credit for what the man's done.

Let's go way back in time, even aside from his work at the Voice and New Jewish Times. In the mid-1980s, when I was senior editor at the Long Island Jewish World and Yossi was sending in pieces there, I remember some of his essays that foretold the intifadah when most everyone in Jewish journalism was still writing about the West Bank like it was Willy Wonka's. Yossi, better than anyone else, gave a clue that the West Bank was about to blow. In the Jewish World, and elsewhere, he wrote essays from Europe that were startling, journeys through the end of the old Eastern bloc, and the Europe we knew, or thought we knew. Over the years, he's written about the Jewish Defense League and the Soviet Jewry movement in ways that were a revelation, and before anyone else. He's been able to explore the souls of Jews, Christians and Moslems in Israel in stunning prose and reporting that ought to be studied -- proof that no one can write, or interview, about the landcape of the soul as well as he can. His analytical pieces in this current war have been consistently wise -- free of rant, party or predictability. In each of these areas he was either first, or as good as anyone in the ring. Just because he doesn't look for front page stories on schemes and scams within Jewish organizations and Jewish leadership (I'm glad that others do) doesn't mean Yossi ought to be questioned on not "breaking stories" in the simplest sense of the term. Instead, Yossi has broken through and illuminated every key Jewish turning point of the last 40 years, with a clear, distinctive writing style, a voice all his own. It's a tremendous loss for this book not to have had a serious conversation with Yossi about what Jewish journalism ought to be about.

Yeah, I'm his friend, as I'm friends with a lot of people in this book, and a lot of them have inspired me, but when his collected works are published it would be the first book I'd hand out in journalism class, Jewish or otherwise.

'You Look Like A Whore!'

Dadist writes: Tell an Italian girl that she looks like a whore and she'll get all offended. Tell a Jewish girl the same and she'll say "Do you think so?"

Should I Pose For Safe Sex?

I Almost Had an Accident

I was driving my manly worker's vehicle up La Brea when what do I see, but a billboard depicting a naked middle aged white man and a naked middle aged black man hugging one another. Now I have problems with this, beginning with the sad fact that I could well be that naked middle aged white man on the billboard. To make matters worse, as I approach it I see the caption: "I told him I only play it safe."
So that's what this is all about - making the world a safer place for sodomy? Why no billboards advising the goyim to obey the seven Noahide Laws, or warning Jews against wearing garments that contain both linen and wool? No wonder I find it so difficult to get a date in this town.

My typing says I would never pose for this billboard but my finances say yes. I fear for me.

Mystery Visitor from the East Critiques Luke's Party

He Who Must Not Be Named, the Man of Mystery, writes Luke:

Yes, it was a fairly impressive gathering, and a good time was had by all. But I am writing about the other people who might also have had a good time there but who did not because apparently no one thought to invite them.

To begin with, there were quite a few Jews and Christians in attendance. But where was the Muslim, the Sikh, the Hindu and the Other? I saw pretty, happy heterosexuals and gay folk out and about (including quite a few strikingly attractive lesbians), but where were the transgendered? So far as I could see, there were none. And then there was the racial factor, which I know you hate to discuss but which progressive folk must discuss because, after all, this is America. The entire crowd was white. Not a black face in sight. No people of color as invited guests - NONE. In fact, the only Hispanic-American present was the nice, hardworking Mexican-American woman who was serving bacon treats to your guests. (I suspect that I was the only guest who even spoke to her, which was their loss.)

I wish you well in your future publishing endeavors and hope for you much success. Hopefully, the next time Cathy throws a party for you, you will insist that she permit people of color to attend, no matter how much their presence might discomfit the neo-conservative right.

Have I Already Met My Future Wife?

Chaim Amalek thinks I have. But then, Chaim has lots of strange thoughts in his head.

Jonathan Mark On Jewish Journalism

A pioneer evaluates the genre.

'Where were all these protestors when ABBA broke up?'

“Where were all these protestors when ABBA broke up? Where was the rioting in the streets?”

Jason's good friend actor Angel Benton, upon seeing the rally for gay marriage rights in West Hollywood last week.

The Anti-Chomsky Reader

The Anti-Chomsky Reader by David Horowitz, Peter Collier

This description is based on the MIT professor's writings on linguistics in the 1950s; but beginning with his criticism of the Vietnam War in the 1960s, Chomsky became much better known for his radical politics than for his theories of language. Over the past forty years he has gained a devoted following in the United States and Europe for his increasingly bitter--some say hysterical--censure of U.S. "crimes." Chomsky has complained about being ignored by mainstream publications such as the "New York Times," but in fact his steady stream of polemical works, like the best-selling "9-11," have made him the center of a veritable cult.
In "The Anti-Chomsky Reader," editors Peter Collier and David Horowitz have assembled a set of essays that analyze Chomsky's intellectual career and the evolution of his anti-Americanism. The essays in this provocative book focus on subjects such as Chomsky's bizarre involvement with Holocaust revisionism, his apologies for Khmer Rouge tyrant Pol Pot, and his claim that America's policies in Latin America in the 1980s were comparable to Nazism. Scholar Paul Bogdanor writes about Chomsky's hatred of Israel. Ronald Radosh and David Horowitz discuss his gloating reaction to the September 11 attack. Linguists Paul Postal and Robert Levine reevaluate Chomsky's linguistics and find the same qualities there that others see in his politics: "a deep contempt for the truth, descents into incoherence, and verbal abuse of those who disagree with him."

"The Anti-Chomsky Reader" presents a fascinating composite portrait of a man who arguably is our most influential public intellectual.


Luke's Book Party II

Devan writes: Upstairs, on the rooftop nearly the pool, with the fantastic view of Los Angeles, the Los Angeles Press Club was hosting a book party for Luke Ford, and his two newest books. This is what I blew off XRCO to attend, the celebration of the newest works of a man who I have had a tumultuous and terrible past with, a man who is neither my friend nor my enemy, but who has been constant during my tenure in the adult entertainment industry. Despite imagining a wild mix of adult personalities commingling with prominent Jewish intellectuals, or an empty party with Luke and Rob Spallone sitting in front of a stack of books, I was shocked to see a large crowd of sophisticated adults. For a minute I thought I was in the wrong place. I did not recognize a soul. I wandered to the cash bar and picked up a Perrier then wandered around until I found Luke, flitting back and forth like a social butterfly between different parties. Until I saw him I assumed I had crashed the wrong party, or that the invite had been a joke, and that I alone had fallen for it.

Luke greeted me warmly then excused himself and told me he would be back. I sat alone at a table and watched the proceedings for a while, until a woman named Gabriella joined me. Well into her thirties and possessing a raw candor she informed me that Luke looked like he was after the cheap and easy p----, and explained that she was a psychoanalyst that worked with young men on probation. She told me that the operative word they used for sex was poonany and that she spent the better part of her counseling time listening to them talk about their dicks. She claimed she lived in a dickcentric universe.

I asked her if this was Luke’s book party and she told me that she had come to help play wingman for a needy friend who had hooked up with a man and gone off to have tea with him at his apartment. I told her she must be pretty good at her job to pull such a feat off and she laughed and took no credit. Scores of pretty and young and desperate Jewish girls flocked around Luke and any other man, except me, because I had Gabriella and that was just fine by me.

Luke finally joined us and introduced us to several girls that kept jocking him and I told Gabriella that men wrote books to get laid, a remark she immediately agreed with. Then I told her I had written a novel and couldn’t sell it and she laughed. Although she had never met Luke before, and knew it was his party, she immediately began to pick on him, telling him candidly that he liked cheap women. I couldn’t help but adore this mysterious lady who was keeping me entertained at what surely would have been a rather dull and introspective evening. Sensing that things were going downhill rapidly, and not wanting to kill the buzz, Luke excused himself and floated off.

Luke and I talked momentarily and I met his friends, a beautiful copyright lawyer and the producer of an independent film, but I was not right after that. Luke was either being funny or embarrassed of me because he kept trying to tell them I was a novelist (make that failed novelist) and that I was working on a book on how to protect Christian youth in the new millennium. Playing along I told them that I was a screenwriter, relying on my one credit for an obscure horror film that Lion’s Gate may one day put out on video, and that I was working on a book about Pop Culture and it’s influence on rape.

Competition in Jewish Journalism

I asked Jonathan Mark about my interview with Yossi Abramowitz and whether Jonathan was the one who chewed him out over the JNF story (it was not).

He replies: I don't remember having anything to do with any of the JNF stories, outside of office conversations. I may have spoken to Yossi at the time, perhaps to explain my understanding of the paper's position, but it was never within the realm of my responsibilities to veto or authorize a major investigative piece, or these kind of news items. Those responsibilities strictly belong to the managing editor and the editor-publisher, alone. So I doubt I chewed anyone out, as I was peripheral to Yossi's interaction with the paper.

But the idea that one paper publishes what another paper won't is why I don't think of any Jewish paper as being "in competition" with another. I think of the Forward and anyone else, in blog or paper, as brothers-in-arms, each of us better because of the other, just different pieces on the chessboard, but the same color. The idea that someone else would print what another won't creates a pressure on editors that offsets the many other pressures that are at work. Federation or not, each of our papers, and blogs, too, has someone, or something they don't want to touch, or choose not to go with after honest journalistic deliberation. But the more of us that are writing, the more likely the Great Story of the Jewish People will be told, somewhere. I actually hate it when anyone, particularly in Jewish journalism, thinks of Jewish papers as rivals to be undermined. That kind of thinking is in the interests of businessmen, not Jewish writers and journalists. The competition, as far as I'm concerned, are only those that don't read, don't care, don't write, and don't encourage. I don't remember the details of Yossi's experience, but for all my loyalty to The Jewish Week and respect for its choices, I'm only glad that he had other places to go and other success along the way.

JDate banners feature pictures of p--- models

By Yoav Ribak

Her name is Hila. She is 22 years old and lives in Tel Aviv. She is very attractive, single, looking for a Jewish husband from a good family, and most important - she is a mouse-click away. This is how the banner persuades you, the Jewish bachelor, to enter the Jewish dating site JDate and find the love of your life.

But Hila in the banner is no other than pornographic model Kari Gold, 18 years old, who lives in Hungary. She is, indeed, very attractive, has a boyfriend and is not looking for a Jewish husband at all. Gold says she is not looking for spiritual qualities in men.

JDate is one of the most popular dating sites among Israeli singles and Jewish surfers throughout the world. A considerable part of its success - it claims more than half a million registered members, tens of thousands of whom are paying subscribers - can be attributed to a massive publicity campaign appearing in recent months on all major Hebrew Internet sites in Israel. The ad campaign is specifically targeted at the Hebrew-speaking local market.

However, Haaretz has found that the site's banners systematically use fictitious characters based on pictures of models taken from pornography sites.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

I Want To Write A New Book

* Struggling desperate ambitious young hot actresses who haven't made it yet. Off the bus girls 18-25.

* The Assistants. Assistants to producers, directors, stars, agents.

* The UCLA Economics department. I studied there and for a few years of my life, I wanted to be an economist.

* TA: The Inside Dope On The Hottest Teacher's Assistants At UCLA

* The Men Who Clean Toilets: The Inside Story On The Men And Women Who Clean The Restrooms At UCLA's Economics Department. Never before have these persons been interviewed until now. They tell all. What astringents to the porcelain to make it shine so. Which chemical solvents. How they protect prosperous PhDs in economics from rectal infection as can be transmitted by toilet seats. A story of pus and cleanliness, their hopes, their dreams, their hatreds, and the secret influence they exert over our intellectual leaders.

* I'm starting the Luke Ford Book Club. If you pre-order these books, you are guaranteed a first edition signed by me. Send in your $20 checks (per copy) now.

* The Happiest Gabbai in Los Angeles.

* A Luke Guide To LA Shuls. The inside story.

The uniting theme in all my books is that I am looking at underdogs, people who are ignored by the mainstream media. Hookers, producers forgotten by time, Jewish journalists, janitors...

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Things At Shul That Made Me Mad

* Teenage girl wearing a clingy see-through white shirt on her wet skin. Distracted me from my prayers and book-reading.

* Men walking through the women's section at the beginning of prayers.

* Two middle-aged women walked in the door in the middle of the silent Amidah and said, "Hi guys."

* Chewing gum.

* Guy sitting next to me chewing his nails through the service.

* Snorting, sneezing, coughing, spluttering. If you're sick, stay home.

* Strangers coming into our shul and loudly admonishing us to hush up during the reading of the Torah. If you're a guest, you should know your place, unless you are a great Torah sage.

I Need A Journalist To Do Me

A journalist I interviewed for my Jewish journalism book (a distinguished journalist, not a wanker) writes: "I think something is missing from your book: an interview with you. people are going to want to hear your motivation and hear your take on what you've uncovered."

So I need a journalist to interview me. As my book's final chapter. Someone who has been following my Jewish journalism interviews. Someone with professional clips. It's an advantage if you are hot, free and in LA.

Washington Jewish Week

Interview with journalist Eric Fingerhut.

Heather Mac Donald vs Tamar Jacoby On Immigration

How did the debate go? Heather writes, "We hissed and spat and clawed each other to a draw. She undoubtedly thinks I showed myself to be the crude race-baiter that I am."

My Jewish Journal Problem And Our's

Normally, I would headline this, Why I Hate The Jewish Journal #26.

But editor Rob Eshman has been such a gracious help to me with my book, it would be ungrateful to do this entry Luke Ford style.

Anyway, the cover story of the latest issue is on the threat posed by Iran.

Come on. If it wanted to, the Journal could provide superior coverage of Los Angeles Jewish life. It does not have the resources to provide unique national and international coverage. This cover story does not give anything new on Iran, nothing that I haven't read before in superior publications such as The New York Times.

Now, I understand why the Journal has these delusions of grandeur. It feels so much better to do some national and international cover stories. You feel like you are a big time journalist and a big time editor of a big time paper. But it is a delusion. You have nothing unique to contribute. When editor Rob Eshman and managing editor Amy Klein write about religious, political, national and international issues, I yawn and drop out of their columns after a paragraph or two. Why would I care what they have to say on these matters? They have little more expertise here than I do. I care what Daniel Pipes or some specialist has to say, not some local journeyman journalist who wants to pontificate on Middle East affairs.

When Rob and Amy write about their love life or some other subject they know well, they are interesting.

I am by no means immune to these delusions of grandeur. When I worked for a small AM radio station in Auburn, KAHI 950, I wanted to do stories about international economics (my major at college). But my bosses wouldn't let me get away with that crap. I had to cover city council meetings and the San Francisco 49er summer training camp at Sierra College.

The Journal covers religion fairly, but in a dull pedestrian plodding manner. Latest example: "New Prayer Communities Seek Spiritual High"

Puff pieces on three new minyanim. Not a surprising word. Writer Jane Ulmann doesn't even mention that two of these new minyanim are breakaways from Ohr Ha Torah -- Ikar and Ahavat Torah. An interesting angle, says Larry Yudelson, would be to look at the type of person who stayed and the type of person who broke away. I know someone at Ikar who goes there simply because his friends go there.

Rob Eshman has friends at these new minyanim who could provide interesting insights but to be interesting would be to go outside of the Journal's approach to religion.

Father, Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned

I sat in the bar until 2 a.m. Friday persuading French journalist Christelle Laffin to convert to Orthodox Judaism. She said Orthodoxy held down women. I said no, Orthodoxy puts them on top, on a pedastal.

Two hours of sleep.

Friday night I read David Rensin's new book in an hour -- The Little Stuff Matters Most by Bernie Brillstein.

I was so sleep-deprived, I couldn't sleep until sunrise. Woke up at 9:15 a.m. Got to shul at 10:30 a.m. The cute security guard was there. I listed off all my sins to her. By the time I was finished, shul was finished. I didn't even set foot inside. I shmoozed with my friends, went to Kiddush.

The Professor says you can know you are a part of a community when people talk about you. He said I am now a part of the community.

Friday, August 20, 2004

LA Press Club Party For Me

For days leading up to Thursday night's affair, I felt excited. I wouldn't play basketball for fear I'd throw out my back or sprain an ankle. Thursday evening I couldn't eat a proper dinner, just a few peanuts and soy milk.

I arrived at 6:25 p.m. and valet parked, something I normally hate to do (both out of concern for what immigrant drivers might do to my van and because I don't like to waste money when I can walk a mile and park for free).

I lug my boxes of books to the rooftop. It's hard to decide how many to bring. It will be embarrassing to lug them back. It will mean that few have sold. (I ended up selling about $500 worth, more than half to manager/producer Jay Bernstein, who also gave Producer books to Jeffrey Wells and Nelson Mandel, and tipped Cecile du Bois $10, who manfully manned my book booth the whole night -- if I ever caught her away from it, I yelled at her). I think a few people may have stolen books.

No colored people were allowed into my party except to serve the white man.

XXX-Communicated: A Rebel Without A Shul

The Producers: Profiles in Frustration

My friend Luke Thompson came and bought a book and drank a lot.

Movie producer Jonathan Todd Harris gave me a great interview a couple of years ago. It's not on my Web site. Only in my Producers book.

He came and grabbed a copy and sat down by the pool. He read it and shook his head. He told me stuff he had never told his wife, such as taking $100,000 from their personal account to fund a movie. He called his wife on his cell. He looked mortified.

I got to introduce many people who wanted to meet each other, including Jay Bernstein to Robert Avrech to writer/producer Adam Gilad.

Raquel Devine. Jessica Jewel (has a law degree, I met her in 1998). Ron Sullivan. Devan Sapphire. Tod Hunter. Adella from Digital P. Dean Sussman. My straight friends worried that my outlaw friends would misbehave. But I know and love my outlaws and they were impeccable in dress and decorum. I could've taken them to shul.

My Orthodox friends Ian, Lisa, Dani, John, Rabbi David, Robert and Karen who I introduced to Moxie. They had a long conversation.

Ilene Proctor. Jill Stewart and her boyfriend Norm Jenssen. David Rensin. Ross Johnson. David Bloom (MGM). Anne Beatts. Tony Pierce and his stunning blonde friend Karisa Allen. Robert Light. He Who Cannot Be Named (HWCBN) but has been my ghost writer and right-hand man for five years.

HWCBN tried to get a latino waitress to serve me pork. He also persuaded various girls to ask me questions about birthrates and the use of a certain consumer product.

Adam Parfrey (Feral House). Sharan Street (LA Weekly managing editor). Mickey Kaus (Slate.com). Heather Mac Donald (everything a female intellectual should be and more, at Manhattan Institute). Michael Finch from the Wednesday Morning Club. Defamer. Dawn A., my copy editor and more. Justin Levine, producer of KFI's Bill Handel Show. Steve Smith. Judd Bernard and his wife. Judd gave me the subtitle for my producers book.

Susan Leibowitz from NBC's Dateline. Novelist Aphrodite Jones. Journalists Richard Rushfield, David Finnigan. Dr. Kate, formerly health reporter for LA Times, laid off in June.

Michael Rainin, director of Waiting for Woody Allen. French beauty and journalist Christelle Laffin, who has a deep interest in Judaism. LAPC party regular Vik Rubenfeld from Forthright Productions.

One producer left upset because my book had been so critical of Michael Ovitz.

In short, anybody who is anybody was at my party, as they should be.

I got a lot of emails and phone calls Friday morning telling me what a wonderful group of friends I have.

A Man Without a Name writes: "This was as good a mix of people as I've ever seen. Torah Jews and goyim; the celibate and the not, all mixing it up on the roof of a fancy hotel with even fancier views. At the rate at which you've been cranking 'em out, you should have one of these every other month. (Next time space the release of your books out a bit! Seriously, doing two at once is like CHOOSING to have your birthday on Christmas, or something like that.)"

A bunch of people at the party got an email warning them not to say anything to me they didn't want to show up on this blog, and that they should not give me their full name. Even after talking to harmless ol' me for 10-15 minutes, several woman stuck by this advice.

Friend: "I was however, very disappointed that there were no wild and crazy chicks there. I was hoping for some loose limbed women to disrobe and dance on the tables then jump in the Jacuzzi. Sigh, Hollywood is never wild when I'm around. The turnout was wonderful and it really shows that you have gained acceptance in the mainstream."

It was a frightening mixture of my opposing worlds. Normally I like to keep things separated. Thursday night, all my friends, outlaws and frumies, mixed together. It was a success, thank God.

The strain made me dizzy. I wanted all my guests to feel welcome. I tried to introduce myself to everyone and make them feel comfortable. I tried to connect people. I tried to remember names and things people might have in common. I tried to express my appreciation to those who have so enriched my life over the past few years.

My Chronic Fatigue Syndrome kicked in around 10 p.m. and I was not fully coherent thereafter. I hung out in the bar till 1:30 a.m. Went to bed before 3 a.m. Fell asleep an hour later. Awoke at 6 a.m. Drank two cups of coffee.

..............

She took one loook at [Hollywood character] and said: "Player."
He's married to that woman, no?
No way.
How do you know?
No married woman flips her hair like that, every twelve seconds, like clockwork. She's working him.
How do you know he's a player?
His eyes.
What about them?
Hungry.
Maybe he's well, hungry.
For someone so smart and sophisticated you really are incredibly naive.
True. So true.

Phil writes Luke: "I was disappointed you didn't seal the deal with that French woman as a means of properly capping off a wonderful Luke-night."

..........

Giving my speech (Photo by Emmanuelle Richard)

Luke, Adella (photo by Dawn A.)

Emmanuelle and her friend Charles (photo by Dawn)

My captive audience

Luke and Cathy

Here are my prepared notes, from which I deviated significantly. I usually find it boring when authors read aloud from their books, or talk for more than five minutes (most writers are not good public speakers), so I just made some off-the-cuff remarks and took questions, chiefly about blogging and sex and the lack of relation between the two (thank God my religious values do not permit me to participate in this degradation):

When I committed to a life of chastity, poverty and humility, I expected that I would be rewarded in the world to come. How was I know that I would also be rewarded on this fallen earth?

One plug for my books. There’s a certain inherent drama in reading the work of a mentally ill man. People expect a high degree of mental instability and needless conflict in any Luke Ford work, and I’ve tried to live up to that. I didn’t have to try very hard.

I checked Amazon.com this morning.
• 1 person recommended Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Consumers, and Providers (4th Edition) in addition to XXX-Communicated : A Rebel Without A Shul
• 1 person recommended Radically Gay : Gay Liberation in the Words of Its Founder instead of XXX-Communicated : A Rebel Without A Shul
• 1 person recommended How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art in addition to The Producers : Profiles in Frustration

One famous movie producer and manager called me this week. He was disturbed by the press release for my party. He had only known me as a nice young man. But all this talk about: “a bottom feeder” (Village Voice), “He has elevated moral and spiritual schizophrenia to surreal proportions” (Salon)…

Why would I talk about myself that way?

Look, I’m only a vessel for my words. I have no choice. I was born this way. God made me the way I am.

Ever since I've been writing in depth on obscure topics on the Net and elsewhere, my subjects have been telling me exactly the same thing: "I don't know who is going to want to read this."

It's interesting that no matter where I go and what I write on, my subjects keep telling me:

* I don't understand what you're doing.
* How are you going to market this?
* Do you make any money doing this?

I’d like to thank Emmanuelle Richard, Amy Alkon and Cathy Seipp for enabling my mental illnesses and moral pathologies for the past few years and promoting them into the august Los Angeles Press Club and this swanky hotel.

...........

Observer:

1. "Why do so many men wear earrings? Do they think women are really attracted to sensitive wimps?"

2. I know all these people came out to honor Luke, but would it hurt for them to have their clothing cleaned and pressed.

3. That woman has the largest breasts I have ever seen ona homo saphien. What shul does she go to?

4. I've seen four noses that are exactly the same. The plastic surgeon should vary his technique.

5. This is better that men's gymnastics...isn't it?

6. Why is everyone crowded over there... oh, it's the bar. Goyim drink instead of eating.

"Most of these people are probably Jewish."

"It's called assimilation."

Friday, a Hollywood player tells me about my party: "The women could've been prettier."

And I'd been in hog heaven in the chick department. I guess we have different expectations.

...........

Tony Pierce writes:

the crowd was diverse educated funny engaging polite. both karisa and i were amazed at how much people wanted to talk to us, when for the first time in a long time i found myself seriously interested in talking to the author about his new book.

the LA Press Club turnout was so good, and karisa and i were so late, that we didnt have a chance to really do much talking with mr ford per se but perhaps since he's now knocked out a few IMs maybe he's ready to get interviewed via it.

.............

Cathy Seipp writes: "I chatted for a minute with Heather Mac Donald of the Manhattan Institute, who protested furiously when I told her she was great on Dennis Miller a couple of weeks ago: "Oh, no no no I was not! Don't even suggest that! I was awful!" But really, she was very impressive, I don't know why she thought she wasn't. When you get Heather on the Patriot Act or immigration or any number of wonky subjects she knows a lot about, it's like watching a Lamborghini accelerate past all the other cars onto the freeway."

Heather Mac Donald shares my disgust for the Dennis Miller show: "Blame Bill Maher for the idiotic idea of blending celebrity "glamour" with "serious" political discussion. Miller is just aping the formula. I can't imagine why anyone would watch it: if you want political debate, go to a cable talk show, if you want celebrities, thar's plenty of them everywhere. Yet [folks] regularly fly out from NY to do it."

Cathy writes: "I found out later, though, that a possible scene was avoided when a friend of mine decided to leave early rather than run into one of the non-porn Hollywood types profiled in Luke's book "The Producers," because they'd had a big falling out a few years ago over some project and (as my friend told me later) "The guy threatened my life! I'd seen him buck-naked! He walked over to me once by the jacuzzi, his Kibbles and Bits just inches from my face!" Well, that's Hollywood for you."

...........

Cecile du Bois writes: I have never been to a party before where I can converse with a Sephardic rabbi, turn around the corner and chat with a '-----grapher' or (really a ---- star) Ron Sullivan. I was surprised to learn that he was, um, in the 'biz' because he appeared so learned and gentle, almost rabbinical. I don't want to say grandfatherly, but Donna Barstow, a cartoonist, and I were impressed by his Jack Bennyish Chicago gang-meets-New York radio impressario accent. He replied, making different accents, that he used to watch a lot of Channel 9 when he was a kid. He's the kind of man I would rather associate as a teacher at school, not you know what, but he was very polite along with his friend Tod Hunter, also in the biz compared to a thirtyish man who was blunt. When Mr. Hunter and Mr. Sullivan heard my age, they politely withdrew their business card from my hand and were a bit embarassed. I felt apologetic.

A woman whose nom de '---- consists of 'Jewel' purchased a book, and I saw her around with her female friend and this blunt character. I heard them talking about her professional name, and I asked conversationally, 'Is that your non de plume', because the name Jewel sounded so interesting, as I wondered how she got it. The blunt man, whom I was tempted to ask in my head, Are you her um, 'Master'?, dove, inches from my face, cackled, and said, 'Its her non de...porn!!!' I thought all ---- people were sleazy, but he was the only one.

I paled, taken aback from his aggressiveness, and was comforted to find Amy Alkon, a few feet behind me. I've never been talked at like that in my life.

Later, producer Jay Bernstein bought eight books of 'The Producers', being very generous to Luke. I helped down as he had a stylish cane with a duck head on it that made it hard for him to carry all the books down. He was very nice, although I was embarassed to mix up Farrah Fawcett with Goldie Hawn, but I did know she was in the Charlies Angels TV Show, but unfortunately, I did not know who Linda Evans was. These were two ladies he managed back in the day. He behaved Hollywoodesquely, generously tipping everyone, including me. I was taken aback, since I was never tipped before, if not from a producer.

............

Luke Y Thompson writes:

...I was planning on doing a snarky write up on last night's Luke Ford book party in the style of classic LF, but I had too good a time and enjoyed everyone's company too much to mock them. His moral leadership must be rubbing off on me.

Luke claims I drank a lot. In my own defense, I actually turned down several offers of drinks from others so that I'd be okay to drive. His book so far is a better read than I expected.

Talking to outlaw publisher Adam Parfrey was a highlight. I had met him briefly once before, but we actually conversed this time. I think we like a lot of the same things. I gave him my card and supposedly will get on his guest list. Adam, if you're reading...don't forget.

And I somehow ended the evening getting shouted down by Andrew Breitbart and Moxie (sporting a fetching sunburn that we both agreed matched half my hair). Not bad people, but they didn't really let me talk, and when they did, it was usually to tell me that I didn't actually believe what I said I believed -- I couldn't possibly, because Hillary Clinton (for example) thinks something different and as a leftist I must obviously agree with her on everything. Tough to have a meaningful debate when someone else is telling you what you believe and then arguing with that instead of figuring out what you actually believe, but it's not like we'd convince each other anyway.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

PLEASE HELP - a friend of mine is destroying his life on whores

Yep, whores. Everytime I see him, he is banging another whore. He seems happy, but deep down inside I know he is not happy.

Khunrum writes: Thanks for not using my name. You are right. I am back in school getting ready for the next semester. It's a total drag. I am miserable.

Now if I was back in T-land with my working girl friends and monger buddies I'd be a happy man. If you really want to save me send money so I can retire and move to Asia.

Velvel responds: What do you mean by "whores?"

Real, by-the-hour, call girls? Or just loose women who will screw for drinks?

Khunrum replies: "What do you mean by "whores?""

That is a crass archaic word that should never be used by any right thinking individual. Especially the intelligent renaissance types reading Luke's column (please refrain from printing it again Luke). What we are talking about are sociable ladies who work at various professions to support themselves, their children and many times mother and father up country.

"Real, by-the-hour, call girls? Or just loose women who will screw for drinks?"

Women like all women, who enjoy traveling, riding the waves in Phukett, laughing and relishing life. Perhaps having a drink or two. How quick we are to place people into categories (especially sordid ones) whilst not even knowing the minimum circumstances of their lives.

Who would begrudge a young lady enjoying life a few baht to help support herself and her family?

Nikki Finke Chews On The Bones of 'GQ'

From Gawker.com: "It's not too often that the taut and tanned Hollywood set gets a chance to smackdown the pasty New York media circuit, but leave it to LA Weekly's Hollywood writer Nikki Finke to make it happen. Someone's leaked an email fray between hellcat Finke and an unassuming, unnamed GQ Editor, and I just started twitching uncontrollably. So many LA flashbacks before breakfast! Sample some serious bitch-slappery after the jump."


How to start your day with a positive attitude

1. Create a "new folder" on your computer.

2. Name it "George W. Bush".

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Empty the trash.

5. Your computer will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of
"George W. Bush"?

6. Answer calmly, "Yes", and press the mouse button firmly

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Deep Inside Madonna's Mystical Message

From my interview with Yosef Abramowitz:

YA: "The Jewish press has totally failed to do a deep enterprising story about what Madonna has been studying, how deep does the stuff go. Everyone reduces this to shtick and kitsch. The secular press is only going to go to a certain level. This is an entertainment story to them, not a religion story. The Jewish press has missed a historic opportunity to go five levels down on this thing. It's not seen as Jewish journalism.

"I went to the reinvention tour. Within that tour and the messages are revolutionary seeds for the world and Jewish life. She gets the meaning of kabbala..."

LF: "What kind of kabbalistic message was sent when she had writhing people simulating sex on stage at her concert?"

YA: "I saw her concert three years ago. It was god awful. I didn't want to be there. She was trying to provoke. I saw her Reinvention tour. I could've taken my two daughters aged 11 and 9. And I'm a bigtime censor [to protect their innocence]. She kept her clothing on. She was hitting major messages that I would want anybody who was concerned about social change to hit. It was a deeply Jewish experience that was filled with integrity and made amends for her concerts three years ago and indicate a certain maturation in her own path. If I had the time, I'd be writing that one."

LF: "I've never heard anyone voice that."

"I'm independent. I have an essay unwritten in my brain about this but I can't do it now."

LF: "I only hear the pat put-downs."

"Of course. The Jewish establishment has to do that. Anybody who sees himself as a Jewish religious or organization leader has to discount this because saying otherwise would be taking a risk, and reducing their own claim to leadership. She knows something that they don't about reaching children. She knows something they don't about aspirations of Judaism. She knows something they don't about how to unite people and bring the world together. That's really dangerous. Heaven forbid that she should have any legitimacy. But their kids fall for her stuff."

Serious Question About Black People

Mutt writes: watching the Olympics - and i still am not sure why there ain't no black folk in the swimming. black people are the finest physical athletic specimens on the planet, i've heard theories and not from racists that black people have different physical characteristics which make them poor swimmers, also heard theories that it's a socio economic thing - black people don't grow up with swimming pools with coaches all around them.

well either way the Olympics are biased against the blacks. If blacks are at a disadvantage when it comes to swimming, I propose - no i demand, the International Olympic Committee create a new event that isn't racially biased - The Running Through The Open Fire Hydrant and/or Lawn Sprinkler Event.

that's fair. but it won't happen because they know the black man will own that event just like he owns the 100 meter sprint.

I'm Having a Party, and Some of You are Invited

As many of you know, I recently came out with two new books: XXX-Communicated and The Producers.

A party is going to be held in my honor at a very swanky locale here in Los Angeles in a few days, and you are invited. Well, some of you. If you are a hot looking woman, or someone who works at sufficiently high a level in the entertainment business to offer me a job, you're in. Just forward a recent photo (if you are a chick) or some resume-type info to my official screener, Rabbi Gadol at RABBIGADOL@YAHOO.COM, who will pass it on to me for my final approval. Trust me, if you are a hot chick or a Hollywood Gadol who can help out me or my friends, you don't want to miss this party. There are going to be some very special people there, about which I am sworn to secrecy. Let's just say that "Page Six" would want an invite, if only they knew.

The following appeared in a family newspaper, The New York Times, this past Sunday, and concerns a certain politician who stands a mere 5'6" tall and who is gay:

"Mr. McGreevey's aides said that in a series of conversations outside different events, the governor emphatically denied all of Mr. Cipel's claims that their sexual encounters had been coerced. But it is impossible to evaluate those statements because neither side will reveal precisely what charges were discussed, nor would they name the people who Mr. Cipel's lawyers said witnessed the encounters. Two people involved in the negotiations — one on each side — said, however, that the most serious allegation was that Mr. McGreevey forcibly performed oral sex on Mr. Cipel. But Mr. McGreevey's lawyers said the sex was consensual."

Now, the party that I am having is going to get pretty wild, but I don't want there to be any oral sex forcibly performed on me by any of you.

Important Pubic Announcements

On decorum, politics, and parties. See it on my wifeblog.

Dating Tales From The Yellow Side

I go every couple of months to the library to check out books. I saw this nice Vietnamese girl. I thought she was cute. I had enough courage after the third time checking out books to ask her for a date. Now she's my assistant on Protocols. She's fitting right in.

We frumies take things for granted. We're so desensitized.

I had a bunch of gemaras in my trunk. Black ones. White ones. Big huge ones. I think we'd gotten back from the yeshiva and I needed them for a blog.

I forgot I had them. They'd been there a couple days. I open the car. She sees all these things. I don't think she knew what they were but they definitely looked Jewish. I said, honey, let's have dinner. I've got to tell you what I do.

At first, I told her I blog on Protocols. That kinda breaks you in. I didn't mention that I was a moral leader at Bais Yaakov. Then she looked at me and long pause. Six out of ten girls would walk. She thought about it. Then she ordered dessert. She was cool about it.

She was very practical. She knew I didn't do drugs. I come from a good family. She said, you don't kill anybody. You're trying to make money. I'm up for that.

The Best Catholic Fiction

The best Catholic fiction is always written by the worst Catholics. Not the saints in all their virtue—and especially not the heretics, who are willing to undo the whole of Christianity if only their vices can be redefined as secret virtues—but the sinners in all their sin are the ones who are able to create a genuine story. The best Catholic novels seem to be written by those who know, no matter how far they've fallen in faith and morals, that above them or outside them or beyond them lies a truth they did not make and cannot change.

I think this is also true of Jewish writing. The best stuff comes from the sinners.

Rodger Jacobs writes: "The point of the essay I just sent you is that a writer’s view of the world, morality, ethics, and all that jazz, is informed by the religious doctrine one adheres to, whether one later eschews it or continues to cling to it for faith. The idea is you can never escape your religion."

Monday, August 16, 2004

Another Orthodox Rabbi Guilty Of Sex Abuse?

Steven I. Weiss reports: "Word on the street is that the Forward is preparing to expose an abusive rabbi this week."

Gaon writes: "I heard about this last week. If it is who I've been told, this is very big. And it is a rabbi who has been in the forefront of women's rights in the Orthodox world (and who is quite unpopular among other rabbis)."

Me writes: "Are they finally going to deal with Rabbi Mordechai T.? If the rumours are true as to the focus of the story it is but one of several major stories that Rosenblatt has sat on for years (as I reported in my comments months ago)."

The Most Overrated Jewish Journalist

I nominate The Jewish Week editor Gary Rosenblatt for a prestigious Rockower "Most Overrated" Award. Not one journalist for a Jewish publication has been willing to criticize Gary on-the-record to me. Gary holds too much power, and too many purse strings, and is just too nice a guy. All they want to tell me is that he is the Dean of Jewish Journalism. This is how Neil Rubin puts it:

"The current editor of that paper, Gary Rosenblatt, is widely seen as the profession's dean of ethics and fearless of reporting whatever the news may happen to be."

Now, either Gary Rosenblatt is a god like figure unworthy of criticism, or the Jewish journalists I spoke to are cowardly.

Anyway, today things changed. I spoke to Yossi Abramowitz, the first guy with the balls to put his criticisms of Gary on the record.

Yossi brought Gary his JNF expose in 1996 and Gary told him to get lost, and subsequently blackballed him from the paper. The series was nominated for a Pulitzer and led to a complete overhaul in how the JNF did business. It lost $12 million in donations that year. Twelve Jewish papers ran Yossi's JNF story but not The Jewish Week (though they did put their top investigative reporter on the story, Larry Cohler-Esses).

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Fascinating IM With Cathy Seipp

Miss Seipp: Fascinating IM exchange with me for all to see!
Luzdedos1: :)
Luzdedos1: This is so hot
Luzdedos1: Let's talk Torah
Miss Seipp: No emoticons!
Luzdedos1: ROFLMAO
Miss Seipp: No emoticons in Torah!
Luzdedos1: Depends on the translation.
Luzdedos1: How was your day, honey?
Miss Seipp: Well, dear, it was actually not bad. Finished a story... Then had anchovie pizza.
Luzdedos1: I can feel the excitement building towards a shuddering climax Thursday night.
Miss Seipp: Wow. You need to get out more.
Luzdedos1: I am rewatching State of Play, the BBC series we saw
Luzdedos1: I am honing my Jewish journalism book to a fine climax
Miss Seipp: Another several hours of pleasure you owe to ME!!!
Miss Seipp: State of Play, I mean, not Jewish journalism book.
Luzdedos1: Who else have you IM'd with today? Isn't this fun?
Miss Seipp: Just one other compulsive person.
Miss Seipp: I mean obsessive person.
Luzdedos1: What are you wearing right now?
Miss Seipp: Shorts and a tank top. V. exciting!
Luzdedos1: V.
Miss Seipp: And my fake tattoo of course.
Luzdedos1: Anyone get offended by this LAPC party for me?
Miss Seipp: Not that I know of, but then you know I never care who I offend.
Luzdedos1: Read any books lately?
Miss Seipp: Yeah David Sedaris's new book, "Killed," and I gotta finish the K Starr one for the WSJ. OK, gotta go!

Best Pull Quotes On Jewish Journalism

I'm putting together the best quotes I heard while researching Jewish journalism and placing them at the front of my book. I estimate that I am a month away from going to press.

“Yesterday’s news tomorrow.” Yori Yanover’s description of the Jewish Telegraphic Agency

“If you publish this, I will fuck you for the rest of your life.” Malcolm Hoenlein (Vice-Chairman of the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations) to journalist Walter Ruby

“I guess it’s new for a journalist to go in and treat a congregation journalistically.” Stephen Fried, The New Rabbi

“If you beat believed in a God and a Final Judgment, would you have written the book the same way?” Rabbi Bradley Sharvit Artson, Rosh Yeshivah of the University of Judaism, to Stephen Fried

“Dear Mr. Ford: I do not wish to be included in your book. If there is anything negative about me or my family in your book you will hear from my attorney." Rabbi Sheldon Zimmerman, former president of the Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion

“I am the moderator of the AJPA listserv and I will be sending out an e-mail to all the editors later today to tell them of my unprofessional and discourteous experience with you.” Benyamin Cohen, Jewsweek.com

"I don't understand what you are doing here. Who's your publisher?" Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, Kosher Sex

“We're all kinda mediocre.” Eve Kessler, Deputy Manager Editor of the Forward

“Larry [Cohler] was essentially driven out. He found out that Gary [Rosenblatt] was without balls. Larry may sometimes be without brains but he is never without balls. Gary tends to be tame and timid.” Dr. Michael Berenbaum, former director of the United States Holocaust Research Institute

“Of course Gary lacks balls. He's the editor of a Federation paper. If you want to keep these kind of jobs, especially long-term, lacking balls is a requirement.” Jewish journalist

“The Jews who look to Jewish journalism tend to want to be anesthetized.” J.J. Goldberg, Editor-in-Chief of the Forward

“I can do a better French manicure than any French manicurist you can get in Manhattan. I can put lipliner on in a dark cab. I'm a well-honed JAP." Alana Newhouse, Arts and Culture Editor of the Forward

“Why is it important to know the private lives of Jewish leaders? Would that make better Jewish journalism? What is Jewish journalism? Does it have a commitment not only to truth but also lashon harah?" Yossi Klein Halevi, Memoirs of a Jewish Extremist

"You want to be involved with Israel because it is a sexier, crookeder, funnier, nastier, more backstabbing, more backbiting, crazier, more psychotic place than Hollywood.” Larry Yudelson, formerly of the JTA

"You don't want Jewish journalism. You want an orgasm." Tom Tugend, JTA

"I felt like this was the junk bond of the Jewish community.” Rob Eshman, Editor of the Jewish Journal

“I don't plant bombs but ideas.” Rabbi Avi Shafran, Public Affairs Director for Agudath Israel

"The main problem with Jewish journalism is one organization runs almost the entire show. Almost an entire ethnic media is subservient to one organization.” Steven I. Weiss, formerly of the Forward

Evan Gahr - Cheap Date

I email Evan: "I heard this dating story about you: She was very excited he'd gotten tix, but then after about an hour of driving, she realized it was a high school production of the Producers."

Evan replies: "That's a comic exageration of the facts. Sometimes, I look for cheap dates because there is no correlation between the amount of money expended and what transgresses thereafter. One time I picked out of City Paper a college production of something. I think it was The Crucible. Then I changed my mind and we went to see an excellent play about blacks and Jews at the Kennedy Center."

My First IM With Cathy Seipp

IM is an ancient Aborigine bonding ritual. It's the first time I've had it with Cathy. Now we've done everything a man and woman can do together. It makes us feel very close.

Luzdedos1: Hi Cathy
Luzdedos1: It's Luke
Miss Seipp: Eew! IMing!
Luzdedos1: We've never done this before.
Miss Seipp: I know it is Luke!
Luzdedos1: I've never done this with any girl before.
Miss Seipp: Yeah...kind of weird....
Luzdedos1: Be gentle with me.
Miss Seipp: Oh right you only do it with Weisblott right?
Luzdedos1: True
Miss Seipp: Shaddap. You're even awfuller on IM.
Luzdedos1: How did you suddenly show up on IM?
Luzdedos1: I'm composing my heartfelt inscriptions for your books.
Miss Seipp: I figured out how to enable it, as an experiment, but it might not be a good idea. Are you going to Brian Doherty's book reading?
Luzdedos1: No. Where is it?
Miss Seipp: It is Wed Aug 18 at Book Soup.
Luzdedos1: Will Heather be there?
Miss Seipp: You could ask Heather.
Luzdedos1: nah
Luzdedos1: What have you been doing, delight of my eyes and love of my life?
Miss Seipp: I been working...
Luzdedos1: the mean streets of Silver Lake
Miss Seipp: Yes you should give her, and Emmanuelle, and me, and Lori the Bel-Age lady, copies of your books.
Luzdedos1: sheesh, anyone else?
Luzdedos1: can i give paperbacks, they are cheaper?
Luzdedos1: Emmanuelle already bought mine
Miss Seipp: Paperbacks are fine, however, this sort of thing is basic, and I have a mental note I needed to explain this to you after your clueless "if she wants one" response to our suggestion you give the Bel-Age lady a copy. Although in her case, only The Producers one.

David Hoffman Update

I'm in Prague [again]. I left in February after the winter hit when I got real depressed (standard thing that happens to all expats - little did I know). I went back to the States with dreams of settling on the Oregon coast. Went to Oregon coast - hated it and became even more depressed - came back to Prague. I am just getting resettled here. Plan to do some anti-trafficking volunteer work with Caritas International.

David is at stopslavery at hotmail.com

Gustav Niebuhr

I chat August 9, 2004 with Gustav Niebuhr, the former religion correspondent at The New York Times, and now an associate professor in Religion & the Media at Syracuse.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Shabbos Update

At shul this morning, the rabbi implored us to be quiet during the Torah reading. Then, as he walked back to his seat while the reading began, he was repeatedly and noisily congratulated for his speech.

In his sermon, the rabbi talked about this week's Torah portion. Caring for the Levi. Not just secluding him to the housing project but including him in the community. As the Leviim don't need to bring offerings to the temple, they may feel out of it. Include them, says Moses.

We have Levis in our community. Those who feel out of it. They might be physically or mentally disabled. They may be single or childless. They may feel apart from the community. They might sit at home when the rest of the community is together. We need to reach out to the Levi. Because at various times, all of us are that left-out Levi.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Pillow Talk

Cecile du Bois writes: Yesterday my friend Julia came over and after walking for two hours, we ordered pizza and watched Pillowtalk (starring Doris Day and Rock Hudson) followed by two episodes (on DVD) of the second season of 'Curb your Enthusiasm'. Pillowtalk is about a cad (Hudson) who sharing a party line with Jan (Day), plots to win her over. Hudson's character Brad Allen reminds me of Luke Ford in a way. But the happy ending is only possible if 'Marvin', his character decides to reflect on himself and live happily ever after. And its just not as easy as ending connections with 10+ skanks--it means making sacrifices etc. There is a scene in the film in which Jonathan Forbes (Tony Randall whom I believe resembles the headmaster at my school), Brad Allen's best friend, tries to convince Brad to get married. He says that he would willingly have his bachelorhood cut down like the branches of a tree to settle down and supply his 'wood' towards the making of a crib and so forth. Brad Allen is amused by his analogy and refuses to settle down so soon.

  Although it may seem unlikely, Brad Allen easily transforms into a likeable protagonist. Luke Ford, on the other hand, has issues that are not easily seen in the lens of a camera, and is very immune to the idea of marriage or settling down. Perhaps a Jan Morrow should come in soon so Luke can willingly have his branches cut off.

Luke asks: Is she saying I'm gay like Rock Hudson?

Debbie Friedman Does Russia

Debbie Friedman has long been a favorite Jewish singer of mine. I have six of her CDs.

She recently led a Project Kesher trip to Soviet Union and brought her cute blonde girlfriend along.

Trust in Dad Equals Trust in God

This post of grief left me speechless.

Ariel Avrech and I both learned to relate to God and religion and the clergy in the same way we related to our fathers. Ariel with trust. He had the same trust in his rebbes as he did in his father.

His father R. is like My Name is Asher Lev, with the son set to carry on the traditions of the family line, while R. goes his artistic way (while still observing the tradition).

I was struck by Ariel's absolute trust in his parents. It never occurred to him that his parents could be wrong to him in significant matters. From everything I know, he was right.

I've long related to authority dishonestly. Not overtly so. I just never want to tell authority anything that will upset them. In their domain, I obey the rules. Outside, I do what I like. As a child. As an adult.

What the McGreevey Scandal Reminds Luke

1. A man should not lie with a man the way he were a woman.
2. Jewish men should not mess with goyim.

I promise you that I do not accept any of the sort of back-door shenanigans that brought down Mister McGreevey. And, with the exception of a few lapses, I do not mess with the goyim. At best, their women are for practice.

No, Amalek must've said that. Human beings are not means. They may not be treated casually, Jew or Gentile.

Backdoor To Hollywood

Hollywood Actresses: Their Amazing Tales.

They came chasing a dream. They lived through nightmares.

I think that will be my next book. The stories of girls who get off the bus in LA at age 18 or so and try to become actresses. Their harrowing tales. Has anyone done this before? Luke Ford style?

I think this could be a lot more fun than writing about movie producers and Jewish journalists.

So I was talking to an ex-girlfriend and inviting her to my book party.

"Have you made any rude comments lately that have been reported to your rabbi?" she asked.

"Nope," I said.

She's reading My Life by Clinton. Up to page 580. Just 400 or so to go. She said it was good.

"Well, it's no XXX-Communicated: A Rebel Without a Shul" I protested.

"How long is your memoir?"

"One hundred seventy four pages. Just a quick swallow."

"I'm going to ignore that," she said.

"No, I think I'm going to call your rabbi to complain. What's his number?"

Why Didn't Heather Mac Donald Slap Dennis Miller?

Why didn't Heather Mac Donald get offended when Dennis Miller called her "comely" on his MSNBC show? She could've starchly said, 'Would you describe a male guest that way?'

Polishing My Dvar Torah For Thursday Night

I'm polishing my dvar Torah for my simcha Thursday night. All the gedolim of Los Angeles will be there along with Chayyei Sarah. They have written letters of approbation in Hebrew for my two latest seferot. I will urge my listeners to abjure worldly pleasures and to instead set their sights on the true world by healing the broken vessels all around us through good deeds.

Never expecting kavod (honor) in this world, I'm overwhelmed and humbled by all this attention. Fool, I am but dust and ashes. What care I for earthly rewards when I am sure of good things to come.

The event will be strictly kosher (with Cathy Seipp serving as mashgiach, not to mention moshiach) and shomer negiyah (no touching of opposite sex) will also be enforced by burly bodyguards. Anyone who dares to touch a woman will be thrown out.

Four of the Lamed Vavniks have RSVP'd: Kendra, Jewel, Jenna, Raquel.

Yossi Klein Halevi will give a speech. Then there will be a symphony followed by pictures at an exhibition.

Rumors about the attendance of the Barefoot Jewess and Chaim Amalek are rampant.

The Bottom Line on the McGreevey Affair

Chaim Amlek says:

Very, very bad for the Jews. Just see the write-up in today's NY Post. The Jewish angle is hit again and again and again. Goyim read this paper (most of us Jews read the New York Times), and are apt to form linkages among Jews, political corruption, Israel, and sexual depravity that we would rather they not. A true shanda - even worse than the great shatnes scandals of '02.

Barren Jewish Singles

I've been talking about the plethora of "Young Jewish Professionals" events (attended by folks in their late 30s and early 40s) with my friends.

Khunrum writes: How old in the Jewish Community to be ineligible for all these "young" oriented things?. When I think "young" I'm visualized kids in their late teens, "very" early twenties. Yet Luke is pushing 40 and is still attending "Young Jewish Singles." Luke's friend was at Kitty Hawk with the Wright Brothers and is still doing "Young" this and that. Can any Jews help me out on this one? Damn if I am not feeling younger by the minute. I'm ready to start a "Young Jewish Tourists" club right here in B'Kok.

In keeping with the spirit of this crone being involved with Young Jewish Whatever, we have founded the first chapter of Young Jewish Tourists, B-Kok Chapter. My dear friend and fellow monger Izzy (last surviver of a Polish family wiped out by the filthy Hun in WWII) is President. He is 77 years young. Goyem and even German goyem are welcome to join. There is no age limit and anyone who can love is considered "young."

We meet in the Nana Hotel lobby monthly. Dues are optional. See you there.

Chaim Amalek writes: Khumrum points to the shame of the Jewish community: the delusional manner in which non-orthodox Jews approach the matter of sexual reproduction. Of course you are right; these people are not "young" in any
sense that a Palestinian or a Mexican would understand and use the term. Rather, they are barren.

The fate of these barren women of the community is a scandal, not the least because it is seldom discussed in public, for fear of offending these foolish women. Simply put, it is dysgenic in the extreme for such women to be spending their very limited child bearing years working on "leadership" roles when what is needed is for these women to take the lead in making babies. Whatever "leadership" they provide can wait
until they hit their late thirties - forties, AFTER they have born and raised their children.

Someone needs to tell these people that they are not young. Someone needs to warn the truly young of what awaits them if they wait too long.

Fred writes: In light of Chaim's remarks, LF should announce that the organization is now being re-named Barren Jewish Singles. (Optionally, we could call it Childless
Jewish Singles.)

Earlier I commented that "Old Jewish Singles" would not work as the name of an organization. I think that Childless Jewish Singles would actually work for a
singles organization. But query, Chaim, aren't you equally guilty on this count?

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Sticking Up For Luke

Marc writes: just lunched with luke, following our time last night at moxie's pad ... he seems in good spirits despite being a bit poorer than usual. cathy and amy seem geuninely excited about throwing this party for him ... so, unfortunately, i can't really buy into this bleak view of his existence.

Khunrum writes: Geeeeeeeez! After a four month paid sabbatical in Asia followed by a semester teaching and then another three months in Thailand and Laos I thought I was doing pretty good. If not "successful" then darned happy to be here. Perhaps I need to reevaluate my life?

Robert writes: I'm stickin' up for Luke. He's spent a decade as his own boss. I don't think he's ever experienced a callus. He'll never have an ulcer. I think he's doing better than some shmoe slaving in some cubicle praying for the weekend. There are worse ways to make a living than munching protein bars at a shoot...

Everyday is a vacation for Luke except, of course, the Sabbath.

Luke, have you submitted your book to Oprah's Book Club yet? I hear her endorsement makes the cash registers sing. Why not comp her one? Ya never know ....

Chaim Amalek Explains New Jersey Politics to Me

With respect to Jewesses and the powerful, I think the cause of this connection is the Esther Syndrome, the idea that the young Jewess has it within her thighs the power to twist the mind of the powerful goy ruler to the benefit of the Jewish community. (In fact, I read just such a favorable interpretation of the doings of young Monica Lewinsky.) And the origin of this notion is, of course, Purim. Jewish girls are socialized to look with favor upon the deeds of the courtesan Esther (no queen she), who saves the jews with her moist sexual favors, all under the approving gaze of her Uncle Mordechai. As the Homosexual is merely a stunted man cursed with the mind of a girl, it is easy to see why a young jewish homosexual would identify with Esther and present himself in similar terms.

I think this answers your question completely and fully.

New Jersey Governor Resigns

With his wife at his side, Gov. James E. McGreevey of New Jersey announced today that he is gay and would resign out of concern over the impact on the governor's office of his disclosure of a sexual relationship with a man.

McGreevy's homosexual lover Israeli Golan Cipel also worked for Charles Kushner.

Another article on the Kushner connection

Kushner again.

What is it with Jews and sexual affairs with the powerful? First Monica Lewinsky. Than Sandra Levy. Now Golan.

A Question For Nick Denton

I emailed the owner of Defamer.com, Fleshbot.com, Gawker.com, Wonkette.com: "Dear Mr. Denton, I was chatting with a fellow journo the other day. He said you were out of the closet, that you used to be straight, and that the catty gay mentality pervades your Web sites, which I thought was an interesting assertion. Does your sexual orientation affect your Web sites?"

Nick Denton replies: Hey, Luke -- what a curious email! It's not a particular secret that I'm gay. Though I think Wired Magazine was the first publication to out me in print.

As for the impact that my sex life has on Gawker... Haven't a clue. Introspection has never been my forte.

And what does Matt Drudge say to these questions?

Emanuelle Richard writes Luke: Do you really think this cattiness is necessarily "gay"? Strange Wired description of Nick: "matter-of-factly gay"! Aren't the editors of Fleshbot and Gawker gay too? I don't think it means anything. The ladies love Nick. I remember his 30th birthday party in Budapest (or farewell party? Mmm...) in Budapest at a cool underground jazz club, in a basement: smart babes in micro-skirts were everywhere, including a stunning, curvy Russian Debbie Harry look-a-like. You would have loved it, Luke. Ask Nick to fly for your party next week and to bring his girlfriends.

As for Matt Drudge: some his pals have said that they have no clue about his sexuality, or at least, that they were never given a hint by the man himself. I would be more interested to find out where his sick obsession with abortion comes from.

A narcissist could not be happier with the Web

From the Barefoot Jewess: Let us take on the case study of said, "BigBad". In reading his own words in his virtual "book", the words of his mother, and the words of a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, one gets the sense of why he is attracted to Judaism, especially Orthodox Judaism. His clever words, salacious world, and ambiguities, also explain those attracted to him, those who like to flirt with the demimonde. And because confession has become the hallmark of our times- no matter what one confesses, we will be enthralled and we will tolerate or forgive because someone had the cojones or chutzpah to tell it like it is- or so we think, and so we can live vicariously and safely away from the unsavoury reality. A narcissist could not be happier with this- because a narcissist does not care about the content, but they care a whole lot about the impact and the more they can push the envelope, the happier they are.