As many of you know, I recently came out with two new books: XXX-Communicated and The Producers.
A party is going to be held in my honor at a very swanky locale here in Los Angeles in a few days, and you are invited. Well, some of you. If you are a hot looking woman, or someone who works at sufficiently high a level in the entertainment business to offer me a job, you're in. Just forward a recent photo (if you are a chick) or some resume-type info to my official screener, Rabbi Gadol at RABBIGADOL@YAHOO.COM, who will pass it on to me for my final approval. Trust me, if you are a hot chick or a Hollywood Gadol who can help out me or my friends, you don't want to miss this party. There are going to be some very special people there, about which I am sworn to secrecy. Let's just say that "Page Six" would want an invite, if only they knew.
The following appeared in a family newspaper, The New York Times, this past Sunday, and concerns a certain politician who stands a mere 5'6" tall and who is gay:
"Mr. McGreevey's aides said that in a series of conversations outside different events, the governor emphatically denied all of Mr. Cipel's claims that their sexual encounters had been coerced. But it is impossible to evaluate those statements because neither side will reveal precisely what charges were discussed, nor would they name the people who Mr. Cipel's lawyers said witnessed the encounters. Two people involved in the negotiations — one on each side — said, however, that the most serious allegation was that Mr. McGreevey forcibly performed oral sex on Mr. Cipel. But Mr. McGreevey's lawyers said the sex was consensual."
Now, the party that I am having is going to get pretty wild, but I don't want there to be any oral sex forcibly performed on me by any of you.
