I'm polishing my dvar Torah for my simcha Thursday night. All the gedolim of Los Angeles will be there along with Chayyei Sarah. They have written letters of approbation in Hebrew for my two latest seferot. I will urge my listeners to abjure worldly pleasures and to instead set their sights on the true world by healing the broken vessels all around us through good deeds.
Never expecting kavod (honor) in this world, I'm overwhelmed and humbled by all this attention. Fool, I am but dust and ashes. What care I for earthly rewards when I am sure of good things to come.
The event will be strictly kosher (with Cathy Seipp serving as mashgiach, not to mention moshiach) and shomer negiyah (no touching of opposite sex) will also be enforced by burly bodyguards. Anyone who dares to touch a woman will be thrown out.
Four of the Lamed Vavniks have RSVP'd: Kendra, Jewel, Jenna, Raquel.
Yossi Klein Halevi will give a speech. Then there will be a symphony followed by pictures at an exhibition.
Rumors about the attendance of the Barefoot Jewess and Chaim Amalek are rampant.
