Gene Ross says to head for the hills when it's your turn.
I found a great book over the weekend - The Rule of Four. I predict that it'll be this year's The DaVinci Code. I couldn't put it down until, that is, I started reading Luke Ford's XXX-Communicated: A Rebel Without a Shul - about a gossip monger's spiritual journey through the Valley. Put it this way. When you got four naked girls running around a house - such as it was on Mitch Spinelli's shoot - and you're rather turn to the next page for amusement, you know you got a book to grab your... by.
Luke, the Internet guy who did it before any of us, certainly knows how to push buttons, and I found myself drooling over sentences that I never expected to see printed in a legitimate format. Yeah, Luke even whacks me on a couple of occasions. And, truth be told, I busted his balls when I was over at AVN, so why not. But I would feel safe to say that he and I have come to a mutual accord regarding specific industry sacred cows and see the filet for what it truly is.
And Luke's book, which even does the gotcha on himself, swings the verbal machete without compromise. My only criticism - and I've already told this to Luke - is that the book should have been twice the size. Three times the size. Not only because he has the material for it, but the exhilaration of reading about familiar names and faces described in a context they deserve is revenge best served cold...and calculating.
Okay. Let's get into it. Mark Kernes who he describes as prone to falling asleep at any moment. "Which is why he was removed as managing editor [at AVN]," writes Ford. And I should know because I did the removing.
"Mark's old and ugly," Ford continues. "He loves porn and hates its critics. Fond of wearing suspenders and thinking of himself as a lawyer [he was once a court reporter], he looks at the world through beady, suspicious, pig-like eyes, squinting between jowls of fat."
And this is just for openers. Jenna, move aside. A whole new batch of soundbites are in town.
