Cathy Seipp will tell you that my newfound respectability is entirely thanks to her.
When people say that we have helped each so much over the past 18 months, Cathy will say, well, I see where I've helped him...
Another friend observes: "Your new life is entirely due to Cathy. You know it and so does Cathy. She has given your the gift of respectability."
I think this observation is cruel and insulting. You should never ever tell anyone that something they have worked hard towards for years is entirely due to the merit of a third party (unless you want to insult the person). You are telling that person that they deserve no merit for their own years of hard work in an area.
Imagine telling a former alcoholic, "Your sobriety is entirely due to your friend Jack."
Imagine telling a former womanizer, "Your newfound respectability is entirely due to your wife."
OK, I can see that.
I guess I have heard all my life that I am nothing unless I am right with God. Or from frum people that I am nothing unless I am shomer mitzvot. I react viscerally to that type of thinking, when directed against me or others.
Did you ever read Man's Search for Meaning? That book is written against that type of thinking.
Anyway, I think Cathy and Cecile are terrific additions to my life but I believe that I deserve most of the credit and blame for where my life is today and I don't like it when people want to give that credit/demerit to others.
I'm also not ashamed of who I was in 2001, before I became a friend of Cathy.
I have the friends I deserve. They are not mine because of charity.
Cathy Seipp writes: "Oh, so that's what brought your little blog foot-stamping "I don't need her dammit I'm just FINE" on..."
