Monday, December 20, 2004

'Get A Bed'

I met a girl at shul. She's 25. She's getting a masters in Interior Design. I baited her with how appalling my hovel is. She took the bait and offered to redesign it for free. I accepted.
She came over today. When she stepped inside, she was shocked and horrified. For the next 90-minutes, she kept repeating, "Get a bed." She said she felt scared. I think she was glad to leave after a lunch of a shared bagel with peanut butter (she turned up her nose at the offer of the chocolate soy milk).
When I showed her my van, her esteem for me did not rise.
I failed to communicate to her that worldly possessions hold no interest to me because I am so spiritual.
I remember I met a beautiful woman for coffee about three years ago. The place was closing. We walked to her car. I asked her if she wanted to come back to my place. She said yes.
She walked in. She was appalled, particularly by the large stack of AVN magazines by the door (I threw them out the next day). Within a couple of minutes, she said she wasn't feeling comfortable in my hovel and could we walk around the block.
A Jewish woman I loved (several years ago) said to me her idea of roughing it was a three star hotel. One Friday night, I brought her over to the hovel to light metaphorical Shabbos candles but she was appalled and made an exit as soon as politely possible.
I think this is all kinda cool because I am a rock. I am an island. And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.


Shabbaton with a child molester this weekend at Temple Beth Zion, Brookline, MA. $50 for those under 13.

Chaim writes Luke: Lately you've been combining 2 posts as one, which have nothing to do with each other - usually one is your personal life (a lovely afternoon with Cathy, inviting a pretty young lady in to redesign your home) with the religious (a gay Jew and his dog, child molestation.) Get it together and set those boundaries, boy.