One thing I find grating about women in general and most female Jewish singles columnists (Teresa Strasser is the big exception) in particular is that they think they're so wonderful.
Here's an example from Esther D. Kustanowitz: "Occasionally someone — usually my mother — will ask me why I, a vibrant, intelligent, attractive and witty Jewish writer, am still single."
The spinsterhood of these women, including Chayyei Sarah, is always laid at the feet of big bad dumb men. Rarely do I read or hear any genuine introspection over the possibility that these women, like men, might have flaws that stand between them and marriage.
I think this is the flip side of the female's greatest fear - that she is not worthy of love. Those who particularly doubt their worthiness are the ones most driven to constantly and publicly lay claim to their worthiness.
(A male's greatest fear is lack of competence. Hence he doesn't like to ask strangers for driving directions, even when lost.)
I have many parts of me that I have to fight to be a decent person (yeah, I know, I'm losing the battle). Any man who is real about himself knows that he has the capability to be a rapist unless he fights himself (to give one example of moral struggles that men have).
I rarely encounter a woman who's in touch with her own struggle to be decent. When I ask women about their moral struggles, they will say things like, I give too much. I'm too trusting.
In short, I'm too wonderful.
"He's Just Not That Into You."
Rabbi Gadol writes: And speaking of which, why do so many women (like this Kustanowitz person) think that what men really want is a devastatingly witty female version of Woody Allen? I find it tiresome to banter all the time with a woman who thinks sarcasm is a virtue (when the concept itself appears nowhere in the Torah). What I want is a woman who is kind, smart, seems like she'd make a great mom to my kids (and is young enough to MAKE said kids), and gives me erections now and then when I am thinking of her. Oh, and one more thing: Jewish women in particular wait too long to marry. The Jewess needs to appreciate that she is not a bottle of fine wine that only gets better with age no matter what her spinster friends may be telling her. She needs to start thinking about what sort of man she ought to be looking for as soon as she clears puberty, find said man, and seek to be married to him by age 23 - just like virtually all of the generations of women who preceded her.
PS Do Palestinians or Mexicans have "dating coaches" or singleton columnists? Nope. They are too busy having children, and lots of them.
