While eating dinner, I watched this famous documentary. It moved me deeply and I dissolved in tears, all over my Cheerios with soy milk. It reminded me so keenly of my own story.
My partner and I used to live in Jerusalem. We were peace-loving folks who simply wanted to practice the Torah and love each other. The ugly Haredim, the religious zealots, drove us out to Los Angeles.
My partner and I liked to go to shul every Shabbos, if not every day, and hold hands during the Torah reading. As a result, we were driven out of every Orthodox shul in town.
My partner's name is Spot. He is an Australian sheep dog.
Many people say I am sick for loving a dog but God made me this way.
I want people to know that it is perfectly acceptable to practice bestiality and be frum.
Why do you bigots think that bestiality takes you away from the Almighty? Even when you sin, according to this documentary, you are cradled in the bosom of the Almighty.
OK, I must go feed Spot.
I run a support group for Orthodox Jews who like to lie with dogs as most men lie with their wives. If you'd like a place to turn, email me. There's no reason for you to believe that bestiality takes you away from God. Those passages in the Torah forbidding doggie love need to be reinterpreted in the light of modern science.
I particularly liked the fat dyke Malki who talks about the pain of keeping it bottled inside while she wears an ugly ring in her nose and her whole body screams "Dyke."
How come dykes in movies are hot but dykes in documentaries and real life are not?
When I first came out as a doggie lover at age 14, I felt very insecure. I was on tranquilizers. My parents sent me to a yeshiva in Israel, because they thought there were no practicers of bestiality in the Holy Land. Big mistake. That's where I came out completely.
I really miss being with people who fear HaShem. I miss being with people who love to do mitzvos. My partner Spot and I have been away from Torah learning for seven years.
If I only had stayed on the Torah path, I wouldn't have rabies today.
Yankel writes: Aleph. When/where will you be online? What efforts are your publisher making to sell your book? Do you have a tour lined up?
Bet. The "Your Moral Leader" bit is over. This isn't 1999 any more.
Gimmel. Cathy Seipp now receives all the buzz that you once had. She has drained you without your even knowing it.
