Tired of the Excuses

From: Vicki Polin

Tired of the Excuses

Over the last ten years that I've been involved in the orthodox world, I have been told something over and over again. The way to determine if someone is orthodox is if they keep kosher and are shomer shabbos (keep the sabbath). If the individual is a man, he is also required to be a part of a minyan (a group of 10 men praying together), praying three times a day if possible.

Whenever there is an individual who follows the above rules, yet does something that brings negative attention to the orthodox world, then I am told that they are not really frum, haredi, orthodox, or practicing Judaism. To be honest I see this as a lame excuse to perpetuate the vision that those who are orthodox are perfect.

I personally believe that when someone parades around in the orthodox traditional clothing, keeps kosher and shabbos, and when the individual davens three times a day in a minyan, usually at an orthodox synagogue -- even if they do something against the cultural norms, they are still considered orthodox, haredi, frum or what ever else you want to call it. The rest of the world will not buy into the excuse that keeps being given.

Those who perpetrate sex crimes against children come from all cultural backgrounds. This includes those of other faiths, neo-nazi's, and the orthodox Jewish community.

I've also recently been given the excuse that the haredi men in Jerusalem that are rioting against the parking lot being open on shabbos are "not really practicing Judaism" or ar not really orthodox.

To the rest of the world they are seen as Jews. It doesn't matter if one group does not feel they are practicing Judaism correctly or not. They are all seen as Jews. As a people we need to do something about this, besides saying they are not really practicing or doing it correctly. We are one people, no matter what our skin color is, how we daven (pray) or don't pray. We are all responsible for each other. We must stop being in denial and face the fact that there are those who are orthodox who also molest children, sexual assault adults, and act in ways in which one does not feel an orthodox person should behave. The first step in healing is recognizing the problem. Denial will get us no where, except to allow more children and adults to become the next victim of sex crimes and or more journalists to be spit at, or worse.

Vicki Polin, MA, NCC, LCPC, ATR-BC

Founder and CEO

The Awareness Center, Inc.

(the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault)

P.O. Box 65273, Baltimore, MD 21209

www.theawarenesscenter.org

443-857-5560