My Life Is At Stake

I am so powerfully attracted to a girl that it hurts me. It hurts me in such a tender spot that I am embarrassed to talk about it. I can only write about it. Unfortunately for my health (mental and physical), my Torah observance does not allow me to do anything about my attraction for this woman as we are not yet married. I had to take two Advils today just to be able to walk. I wonder if my life is at stake, pikuah nefesh, and if so, if that would sanction a little fooling with her around short of biah (penetration)? Your help urgently needed. I feel like I am about to explode. May God have mercy on me and bring the redemption soon.