"I got an update from my buddy about how many of my friends are doing," he said. "And they're not doing well. They are all struggling. One of them almost died."
"How did that make you feel?" she asked.
"I'm so scared for myself right now," he said, "that overwhelmed all other feelings."
"You weren't concerned for your friends?" she asked.
"I was so scared, so very scared about my financial position, that it overwhelmed all other feelings," he said.
"That's probably typical for the youngest child," she said.
She's an eldest child.
"And for the eldest child," he said.
"No," she said. "Eldest children think about taking care of others."
He sat there feeling miffed. She wasn't validating him. She wasn't empathizing.
And then he bucked himself up. That was OK. He didn't need her to validate him. He could soothe his own anxieties. He had read the book "Passionate Marriage" by Dr. David Schnarch and he knew about differentiation.
