Gentle Readers,
The burden of a moral leader is enormous. Every day I struggle to provide you with the religious guidance that your so desperately desire. My position has, however, made me a target of vicious slander from time to time. I have recently been made aware of a new unauthorized biography that casts me in a rather unflattering light.
Usually I would ignore this type of thing and move forward, but in order to preserve my stature I feel the need to refute certain allegations:
1) I withdrew from UCLA due to health concerns surrounding my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and not due to a gerbil mishap.
2) John Travolta and I are work out buddies only. Racquet ball twice a week and nothing more.
3) I have not had 43 sexual partners. The actual number is really 42.
4) I have never claimed to be a blood relative of either Dennis Prager or Ron Jeremy.
I urge all my devoted readers to avoid this horrible book. If it is the truth you seek. You may find it here...
http://www.amazon.com/XXX-Communicated-Rebel-Without-Luke-Ford/dp/0595318940/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1286163685&sr=8-7
