One of the ways I classify places is whether or not I ever made it there.
I only ever made it in LA, Sacramento, Orlando, Vancouver, Las Vegas and Big Sur (beside a cliff overlooking the ocean underneath a loving sun).
I never did it in Australia. Never got further than a hearty kiss and some gentle fondling above the belt.
I just reconnected with an old acquaintance from Pacific Union College Elementary School — Rod. He was in the grade below me. He played quarterback. Like me, he had a smart mouth.
I just posted on his Facebook: “Dude, did you get laid in Angwin? I felt like I was the only one who never did… SDA girls were goody girls as far as I found. I was a virgin until I was 22… You were always precocious, playing quarterback…slick with the girls. How old were you when you lost it?”
An old friend responds: “”Luke…the girls weren’t goody girls…they were just smart!!”
I never did anything naughty with a Seventh-Day Adventist girl. I never did anything naughty until I was 22.
(Rod did it first when he was 15.)
The closest to naughty I ever got was the summer of 1983 when a bunch of us got in the hot tub one Shabbos afternoon. There was a girl with us in a bikini (my age, we’d all known her for years). And about five guys.
