Saturday, August 09, 2025

Virtually You: The Dangerous Powers of the E‑Personality (2011)

 I love this book. I post online regularly. I write blog posts. I host livestreams. I'm unaware of it having a negative effect on my life but I believe in the insights of this 2011 book. What should I monitor to avoid the dangerous powers of the e-personality?

ChatGPT: If you take Virtually You seriously but you’re not feeling obvious harm, you can think of it like keeping an early-warning dashboard for your own psychology. Based on Aboujaoude’s model and later research, here are the main “red-flag zones” to monitor:

1. Narcissism creep

  • Notice if you start framing experiences in terms of how they’ll play online instead of how they actually feel in the moment.

  • Check if you crave affirmation metrics (likes, views, comments) more than real-world appreciation.

  • Ask: “Would I still say/do this if nobody could see it?”

2. Impulsivity and disinhibition

  • Watch for faster, less-considered posting—particularly when emotional.

  • Pay attention if your threshold for sharing private info drops.

  • Use a pause rule: post after a set delay, not in the first wave of adrenaline.

3. Polarization and moral over-certainty

  • Track whether online debates leave you feeling more certain and morally righteous than before.

  • Note if you’re losing empathy for those who disagree, especially people you know offline.

4. Aggression leakage

  • Monitor tone shift: are your online comments snappier, more sarcastic, or harsher than your face-to-face speech?

  • Look for the “snark hangover”—regret after a post you thought was witty in the moment.

5. Reality filtering

  • Watch for the “blog/livestream lens” shaping how you experience life—seeking only what’s content-worthy.

  • Check that you still have private joys, unposted thoughts, and experiences you don’t package for public view.

6. Time displacement

  • Audit whether your most alert, creative hours are spent producing for the feed instead of doing things that feed you.

  • See if your offline friendships or physical hobbies are thinning out.

7. Identity rigidity

  • Ask if your online persona is locking you into a narrower, more exaggerated version of yourself—making it harder to grow or change your mind publicly.

Monthly E-Personality Health Audit

  1. Private vs. Public

    • Did I have meaningful experiences this month that I didn’t post about?

    • Did I keep any opinions to myself without feeling pressure to share?

  2. Metrics vs. Meaning

    • Did I measure my satisfaction mainly by likes, views, or comments?

    • Would I still have created this piece if no one could see it?

  3. Impulse Control

    • How many posts did I make in the heat of emotion?

    • Any regrets about tone or content after posting?

  4. Tone Check

    • Would my offline friends or family be surprised by the way I spoke online?

    • Did my language get sharper or more dismissive than in real life?

  5. Empathy & Flexibility

    • Did I engage with people I disagree with without caricaturing them?

    • Did I change my mind about anything publicly or privately?

  6. Time Balance

    • Are my peak-energy hours still going to offline relationships and pursuits?

    • Did I miss any important offline events because I was streaming or posting?

  7. Identity Breadth

    • Does my online persona still feel like me or just a narrow performance?

    • Do I feel free to experiment with topics or styles without fear of losing audience approval?

You can run through this in 10–15 minutes at the end of each month. If you start noticing the same “yes” answers to the red-flag questions two or three months in a row, it’s time to adjust posting habits.