Joe emails: I had an internet date this weekend with a woman who, it turned out, likely was nearing menopause (late forties? the photo she sent me clearly did not do her true justice). I cannot tell you how depressing the whole non-event was. She even owned two cats, one of which - a male she had never declawed or had its nails trimmed - she boasted was very violent (this woman had the scars on her arms to prove it), especially towards human male company. Oh, and she spent much of the evening talking about her past boyfriends and ex over a few drinks (which I did not pay for, Baruch Hashem), yadda yadda yadda. The net result was to make me want to take a vow of celibacy and mentally recount every error I made in life that led me to our date.
I shall close on a more cheerful note, at least for Luke. Here, potentially, is some really good news:http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2009/08/are-the-feds-working-on-more-money-laundering-indictments-234.html It seems the feds are getting closer to the thieving, money-laundering orthodox Jews of LA. I know Luke dreams of the day when he hears that the Feds have knocked on the doors of Rabbi... and the other Jews of his community who dissed him over the years. I'll wager that if and when that day comes, Luke will be happier than mere sex has ever made him.
KHUNRUM EMAILS: I believe some paste up a photo from their high school year book. Everyone knocks off a few years. 10 is the usual. I must say that as much as we diss the Internet it made dating much easier and cheaper. I had the formula down by the time I said "I DO'. The formula was simple. Meet them for coffee first. The most one can get trimmed for is a couple of bucks. But then I realized if I arrived ten minutes late she most likely paid for the coffee already and I could have a look-see for free. One or twice I sidled up to the door, or glanced through the window and quickly beat a retreat. ahhhh! the good old days.
