Rabbi Gil Student writes:
I'm always bothered by talking in shul but I try to remind myself that people need time to socialize and many people are not able to see their friends other than in shul. But I just wish people would confine their talking to the times during davening when they are halakhically permitted to talk.
What really irks me is when people finish their silent prayers before me and start talking to each other. Guess what? In an otherwise silent synagogue, the one person who whispers is heard far and wide. I find it very disturbing to my concentration.
Click here to read moreI once had an argument with a friend about why people do this. He thinks it is because they don't truly appreciate the power of prayer to connect man and God. I disagree. They are done praying and I think that they talk because they are self-absorbed. They don't care about their fellow synagogue members who are still praying.
As an aside, I often hear Orthodox people wondering why in Orthodox synagogues people talk much more than in Heterodox synagogues. The common self-flattering explanation is that Orthodox Jews are in synagogues so often that we feel more comfortable there. I'm not so sure that is the real explanation. Jews learn from the first time they enter a synagogues what is allowed and what is not. For about 200 years, reform-minded synagogues have tried to enforce decorum while more traditional synagogues have made a point of not enforcing decorum (with plenty staking territory in between). I think that the decorum in Heterodox synagogues is something that has been consciously planned and successfully instilled, with some positive and some negative consequences.
But back to the point, when I was spending Shabbos with R. Dovid Gottlieb in Baltimore two weeks ago, I was randomly thinking about talking in shul over my morning cup of coffee (before services, and not because of anything I witnessed the night before). The Gemara (Berakhos 24b) states that someone who prays (shemoneh esreh) loudly is lacking in faith, which Rashi explains is because he implies that God can't hear a silent prayer. The Gemara qualifies this that if someone can only concentrate when praying loudly then he may do so, but not in synagogues because that will disturb others. In other words, there are two concerns: showing a lack of faith and disturbing others. Your personal lack of concentration can override the implication of a lack of faith but cannot override disturbing others. What qualifies as disturbing others?
