Monday, November 07, 2011

12 Step Programs For Sex Addiction

Don't let the bank take away your home!

Melissa Grace writes: I Know how to refinance your loan! As the mortgage rates have dipped to record lows, a large number of struggling homeowners are looking for ways to refinance their new home loans so that they can retain their homeownership rights and keep staying in their home. Research reveals that almost a quarter million homeowners in the US have lost their homes to a foreclosure and half of these people have never even talked to their lenders regarding some way out. With the current home loan rates, homeowners can easily go for a refinance home mortgage loan in order to repay their original loan. They say that refinance is the best way to forestall a foreclosure and if you’re not aware of the ways in which you can refinance your home loan, here’s help.

Weigh the pros and cons of refinancing: A refinance option allows you to take out a new home loan so as to get access to better terms and conditions on the loan and use them to repay the original loan. If you think that you can just lower the interest of the loan through a refinance, you’re perhaps mistaken. You can reap some other benefits like changing the term of the loan and the type of the loan too. Now if you take out a loan just by checking the interest rate or the repayment term, it may happen that the monthly payments that you have to make are drastically lowered but you end up paying a huge amount on accumulated interest rates. Therefore, you must check all the pros and cons before refinancing your home loan.

Gather all the important documents: If you go to take out a mortgage refinance loan, your lenders will ask for some documents that you may need to show them in order to show them your monthly income and your employment status. This may include your income tax statements, your monthly payment stubs, your pay slips, documents related to investment income and any other financial papers that may come of use during the lending process. You also need to get a copy of your credit report so that you can show them the present score, depending on which the lenders will decide the rates on the loan.

Shop several lenders: Another step that you need to take is to shop among several lenders so that you may get the best loan in the market. There are several mortgage lending institutions that are waiting to lend you loans and make profit out of you. If you want to avoid this, you have to shop around several lenders so that you may get to know the exact rates in the market and choose the best one that suits your needs and wants.

Inquire about all the fees: Refinancing your home mortgage loan will not always help you save money as there are some other fees that are associated with the loan. Research the market and make sure that you know everything on the fees, like the service charges, the loan origination fees, the closing costs and any other pre-payment penalties that might be applicable on the new loan. All such checks should be done so that you can save money in the long run.

The entire procedure of getting a refinance mortgage loan is an easy one but you can spoil the entire process if you take the wrong decisions. Follow the steps mentioned above and make sure you shop around so that you can snag the best refinance loan in the market.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Finding The Right Mortgage For Your Lifestyle

I blog about housing, home prices, and mortgages here:

Obama Expanding Mortgage Refinance

I write about housing and refinancing here:


October 5, 2011

October 4, 2011

September 26, 2011

September 25, 2011

Saturday, October 01, 2011

A Christian Approach To Forgiveness

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Don't Block Me From Watching Football!

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Men, Women Selling Themselves

Luke Ford writes: I was telling my friends how I sold my beard to a family member for $444.

This beautiful young woman responded, “I wish I had something I could sell to make money.”

All the guys immediately cracked up because she didn’t have a clue what she was saying.

It reminds of female personal assistants who talk about “taking care of their client when he comes into town.” They don’t mean anything sexual, but that’s the way a guy’s mind reacts when he hears such stuff. “Oh, I’m taking care of John when he’s in town.”



Afraid To Take Credit For Your Good Deeds?

Luke Ford writes: In my Protestant upbringing, we were taught to not push ourselves forward too obviously. Always appear reluctant to claim credit. Better to moan and groan about what a great sinner you are.

By contrast, I’ve noticed that Jews tend to feel pretty good about themselves. They’re eager to tell me about the things they’ve accomplished. They’re eager to tell me about their good deeds. How they’ve helped the rabbi. How they signed the lease for the shul. How they helped the rabbi raise money. How they did so much for Israel, for the homeless, for the community.

“Are Jews more obsessed with status?” a Protestant once asked me.

I don’t think so. I just think they’re more honest about pursuing status, honor, sex, money, love and the good things of life.

Judaism is more at peace with the natural passions than Christianity. It takes for granted that people want honor and respect and wealth and love and therefore provides ways to channel these desires into good ends.

I find Jews talk much more honestly about sex and money, for instance. They have fewer romantic notions about such basics of life. 



I've Been Humbled By Life

Luke Ford writes: I’m humbled by how often my tendencies to bridle at authority interfere with my career success. I just don’t like being told what to do. It’s like I live my life in perpetual rebellion against anyone who reminds me of certain figures from my childhood.

I’m 45 and I’m still lashing out to my own detriment.

I get very humble at times and even grateful to the generosity of certain rabbis, certain teachers, certain authority figures who’ve guided me to a better life. Then my rebellious ways force them to set limits with me and I don’t deal well with these limits and I lash out and endanger these relationships.

“Nobody will tell me what to do!” That’s probably the most frequent thing I say to myself.

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve hated student-teacher, parent-teacher conferences. I see again and again how my teachers only want to help me but I buck against their bridle. I hate that bit in my teeth. I want to race off and do my own thing, only I know that that direction leads to failure and humiliation.

So I’m going to take some deep breaths, try to let go a little bit of my instinctive rebellion, and listen more deeply to what my teachers tell me. 



I Feel My Creativity Slipping Away

Luke Ford writes: I often find myself thinking, what’s behind me and what’s ahead of me? How frightened should I be about the future? How stoked should I get about the changes I’ve made in my life? Will the next half of my life be as lonely as the first half?

Did I peak in 1998?

I find myself valuing safety, security and comfort more these days than I did 16 years ago.

I met Trey Parker (of South Park fame) at CES in Las Vegas in January 1999. We talked at the Rio bar 2 AM – 3:30 AM after the AVN Awards. He was cool. A total mentch. A good interview. Unpretentious. Funny. Insightful.

Here’s an interview with him in the New York Times today:

A decade ago, Trey, you said that you couldn’t point to anyone who sustained their creativity into their 30s or 40s. You’re about to turn 42.
Parker: I totally still think that. We’ve been writing “Book of Mormon” for seven years, and the best work on it was when we were still in our 30s.



Scrunching Down To Get Something Done

Luke Ford writes: Most people respond to thinking they must accomplish a task quickly by shortening their stature, tensing and compressing their necks, taking shallower breaths, their heart racing, anxiety flying, and overall going into a version of the fight or flight reflex.

By contrast, when you think, “I have all the time I need to accomplish this task,” you will probably breathe easier and more deeply and be more likely to let go of unnecessary tension in your body.

I got this from the following discussion: “Working with Groups - Alexander Technique teacher Meade Andrews talks with Paul Cook ofDirection Journal about teaching the Technique in a group setting.”

Mead has her group pretend to juggle. This activates their primary control and they naturally come into length and width. You can’t juggle and be in a postural set. It won’t work. Their heads are moving because they have to look at the balls. They’re changing their balance and their relationship to gravity. They’re enlivened.

Later on, people ask, is this like yoga? People want to group it with something else. Alexander Technique can’t be compared with anything else. It is unique. 



Which Presidents Had The Best Use Of Themselves?

Luke Ford writes: In this discussion with Eileen Troberman, Alexander Technique teacher Robert Rickover (the son of the founder of the nuclear navy) names Ronald Reagan and Barack Obama as two presidents with the best use of themselves.

“We can find a really bad use one in Jimmy Carter. He was a big neck tightener. You watch sideviews of him in his big debate with Reagan, and he was scrunching down like crazy while Reagan was floating up as cool as a cucumber.

“George W. Bush had bad use. He had this weird holding pattern in his torso.”

“Politicians as a group tend to have better use.”



Price Of Sex Hits Record Lows

Luke Ford writes: I wonder if part of this has to do with the book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.

That Neil Strauss book has evened the playing field for guys as they’ve learned to talk to women in an effective way.

The New York Post reports:

In today’s lousy economy, men can take comfort in knowing that there is one sought-after good that is becoming steadily more affordable: sex.
Women are jumping into the sack faster and with fewer expectations about long-term commitments than ever, effectively discounting the “price” of sex to a record low, according to social psychologists.
More than 25% of young women report giving it up within the first week of dating. While researchers don’t have a baseline to compare it to, interviews they have conducted lead them to believe this is higher than before, which increases the pressure on other women and changes the expectations of men.



Barack Obama Panders To Black Audience

Luke Ford writes: Barack Obama has long employed a different accent when he’s talking to blacks than when he’s talking to everyone else.

The guy seems like a phony to me and a panderer.

Yahoo reports:

“The first job of a journalist is to report a story as accurately as possible,” Howard Portnoy wrote on HotAir.com. “Part of the job of reporting Obama’s speech last night was to highlight his obvious pandering, which is borne of desperation. The only element missing from the story is whether any of the listeners were offended by the president’s ‘blaccent.’”
“The AP did not print the words as written for the president,” Mike Opelka wrote on Glenn Beck-owned TheBlaze.com, “instead choosing to transcribe the speech with what might be considered a bit more accuracy.”


Morgan Freeman May Marry Step-Granddaughter

Luke Ford writes: This guy may have outdone Woody Allen in the ick department!

Report: According to the Enquirer, Freeman cheated on his now ex-wife with a number of women—E’Dina being one of them—and Freeman and E’Dina’s affair began when when she was just a teenager (and we thought this whole incestual relationship couldn’t get any worse)! But apparently now that he’s no longer legally bound to another woman, the Oscar-winner has vowed to make a “decent” woman out of his step-granddaughter and father her children! 



Chris Christie For President

Luke Ford writes: Like most Republicans, I am not thrilled with our choices for president.

Rick Perry is the most right-wing but he’s a lousy debater.

I hope Chris Christie gets in, even though many of his positions are not conservative, as the Washington Post reports:

Whatever Christie’s conservative apostasies, you can’t argue that he does check one big box for Republicans right now – fiscal conservatism.

But it’s also become clear that many of the attacks in the presidential race so far could find a welcome target in Christie. His ability to parry them and still win over some very finnicky conservative voters remains a very big question, no matter his debate savvy.

And given the status with which he would enter the race, it would certainly be a barrage from day one.



Muslim Groups Support Irvine 11

Luke Ford writes: On his radio show today, Dennis Prager said: “There’s a radical left-wing and radical Muslim organization at U.C. Irvine.”

“They were screaming that Israel is a genocidal state. I expect left-wing groups to say it is perfectly OK to disrupt a speaker and not allow someone to speak. Why do left-wing groups support these students?

“What is depressing is how every normative Muslim group has come out on behalf of the students. It’s religion over values. Because they are in the same religion as me, they can do no wrong.”

“You relish the right of free speech by shutting down another speaker. Suppose a Muslim came to speak at UC Irvine and students came in played whistles or a siren or the Dennis Prager show at high volume. Would that be allowed?”



Money Saving Tips

Luke Ford writes: Most people find it easier to cut spending rather than increase income.

Over the past 17 years, I’ve maximized my personal freedom by cutting my expenses. I like doing what I want to do when I want to do it.

Here are some money saving basics:

* Eat at home rather than at restaurants. Do without the Starbucks coffee. Make your own. Pack your own lunch. Don’t go out drinking.

* Drop your land line and rely on your cell phone. Drop your cable and rely on netflix.

* Make a list before you go grocery shopping. Don’t do it on an empty stomach. Keep an eye on the expiration dates for perishable goods.

* Buy in bulk and buy generic.

More tips:

Use grocery store bags to line trash cans: This may not work if you use a massive trash can but we use a small sized one for which the grocery bags are a perfect fit. This not only helps us save some money, but reduces our environmental foot print and avoids the kitchen from stinking from a huge overflowing trash can.



God Says No Fatties! (Deut. 32:15)

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



A Jewish View On Forgiveness

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Conservatives Disappointed In Rick Perry

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Observing Jewish Law W Non-Jewish Roommate

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Friday, September 30, 2011

Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52) VII

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52) VI

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52) V

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52) IV

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52) III

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52) II

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52)

Luke Ford writes: I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on the Rabbi Rabbs cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Ha'azinu (Deuteronomy 32:1-52).



Tuesday, September 27, 2011

President Obama Panders To His Black Base

President Obama speaks in a different accent to black audiences than to white audiences.

The guy seems like a phony to me. He tells audiences what they want to hear.

Yahoo reports:

"The first job of a journalist is to report a story as accurately as possible," Howard Portnoy wrote on HotAir.com. "Part of the job of reporting Obama's speech last night was to highlight his obvious pandering, which is borne of desperation. The only element missing from the story is whether any of the listeners were offended by the president's 'blaccent.'"
"The AP did not print the words as written for the president," Mike Opelka wrote on Glenn Beck-owned TheBlaze.com, "instead choosing to transcribe the speech with what might be considered a bit more accuracy."
"He was specifically, and intentionally, using an African-American linguistic style to emphasize his message," a conservative blog called the Last Refuge noted.
"Now that the presidential campaign season has begun," Courtland Milloy wrote in an op-ed column for the Washington Post, "it's okay for President Obama to openly court black people again."

Sunday, September 25, 2011

How To Improve Your Life With Alexander Technique

Here are some conversations between veteran Alexander teachers Robert Rickover and Eileen Troberman:


In their first conversation, they suggest ways of learning just what you're doing to yourself that get in the way of efficient movement and offer specific strategies for letting go of harmful movement patterns. The advantages of having lessons with an Alexander Technique teacher is also explored. Click here to listen to or download this conversation.
More details about what you can do on your own: the importance of lightness of self-direction and the benefits of gently saying "no" to patterns you don't want. There is a reference to Missy Vineyard's book How you Stand, How you Move, How you Live as well as to William Conable, co-author of How to Learn the Alexander Technique - A Manual for Students. Both these books are available at the Alexander Technique Bookstore (listed under Introductory Books). Click here to listen to or download this conversation.
Here Robert and Eileen address the thorny topic of feelings (the physical sensations) that come to the surface when you make changes in your posture and movement patterns. How to respond to these feelings is one of the biggest challenges new (and experienced!) students often face, and several useful strategies are outlined. This issue is also very nicely covered in this video of the late Marjorie Barstow. At one point in the interview, Robert makes a reference (much to Eileen's chagrin) to the Kenny Rogers song The Gambler and the verse that advises a poker player: ......you don't ever count your money when you're sitting at the table, there'll be time enough for counting when the dealings doneClick here to listen to or download this conversation.
Applying the Alexander Technique to ordinary daily activites
In this discussion, Robert and Eileen discuss some practical ways to use the Alexander Technique around the house. Click here to listen to or download this conversation.
Here Robert and Eileen talk about using the Technique when driving. Eileen talks about a serious safety hazard facing drivers who crane their head forward. There is a reference to the ergonomic seat and back supports designed by an Alexander Technique teacher. Please mention "Eileen and Robert" when ordering and apparently we'll get a commission! Click here to listen to or download this conversation.
Robert and Eileen talk about some ways to use the Alexander Technique when you're with other people. There's a short discussion ofmirror neurons and a discussion of unconscious imitation that will be especially interesting to parents. We're hoping to post the photo of Eileen as a 3-year old with her grandfather mentioned in this conversation. Click here to listen to or download this conversation.
Here Robert and Eileen discuss some strategies for lessening the tensions that we often produce when we're outdoors in very cold weather. Click here to listen to or download this conversation.
Benefiting from Alexander's Discoveries Without a Teacher
Here Robert and Eileen discuss the possibilities of working without the help of a teacher. There is a reference to Body MappingJohn Appleton's work and Alexander Self-StudyClick here to listen to this conversation
In this conversation, Robert and Eileen provide some specific suggestions for using mirrors, or better yet a camcorder and tv monitor, to provide reliable feedback. Quite a bit of the discussion is devoted to the danger of trying to get a "right position", and the harm done by most posture advice. Click here to listen to this conversation
In this conversation, Eileen asks Robert about Movement Coaching by Phone, a service he offers to students who don't have access to an Alexander Technique teacher. The conversation includes a reference to the late Marjorie Barstow and to Body MappingClick here to listen to this conversation

Bank of America Cleans Up Its Mortgage Mess

I blog about real estate, refinance and mortgages here:

September 24, 2011

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Rabbi Rabbs Does Not Buy Bible Codes

Luke Ford writesI discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on my live cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

 

This week we study Parashat Nitzavim (Deuteronomy 29:9-30:20) and Parashat Vayelekh (Deuteronomy 31:1-30.

* This is the last show from my hovel! I’m moving out Oct. 2.

* Rabbi Berel Wein writes: “There is a cynical but unfortunately accurate statement rife in the ranks of diplomats that treaties are made to be broken.” This is true in personal life as well. Anyone who tells you, “I will never lie to you” or “I will never betray you” or “I will always be there for you” is unlikely to live up to such lofty obligations. We have to stand on our own two feet in life and not try to rely on binding people to us in such obligations. 

 



Let Us Open Up The Word Of The Lord

Luke Ford writesI discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on my live cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

 

This week we study Parashat Nitzavim (Deuteronomy 29:9-30:20) and Parashat Vayelekh (Deuteronomy 31:1-30.

* This is the last show from my hovel! I’m moving out Oct. 2.

* Rabbi Berel Wein writes: “There is a cynical but unfortunately accurate statement rife in the ranks of diplomats that treaties are made to be broken.” This is true in personal life as well. Anyone who tells you, “I will never lie to you” or “I will never betray you” or “I will always be there for you” is unlikely to live up to such lofty obligations. We have to stand on our own two feet in life and not try to rely on binding people to us in such obligations. 

 



Sholom Rubashkin's Long Slow Journey To Justice

Luke Ford writesI discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on my live cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

 

This week we study Parashat Nitzavim (Deuteronomy 29:9-30:20) and Parashat Vayelekh (Deuteronomy 31:1-30.

* This is the last show from my hovel! I’m moving out Oct. 2.

* Rabbi Berel Wein writes: “There is a cynical but unfortunately accurate statement rife in the ranks of diplomats that treaties are made to be broken.” This is true in personal life as well. Anyone who tells you, “I will never lie to you” or “I will never betray you” or “I will always be there for you” is unlikely to live up to such lofty obligations. We have to stand on our own two feet in life and not try to rely on binding people to us in such obligations.