Monday, January 26, 2009

Was His Name Sanity?

Lewis calls. "How are you?"
"I've been going to yoga and I...."
"What kind of Orthodox Jew are you? You're like a damaged Orthodox Jew that you find on sale?"
"I got dumped."
"Did you show her the hovel?"
"She said someone came back into her life."
"Was his name Sanity?
"If you bring someone like that back to your place, before you even open your door, you say, 'I'm researching a role. 'What's that?' You say, 'I feel that most stories about the killer never give you the back story. I want to know how the killer got to where he is.'"
"What makes a man kill."
"'This is research. This is not where I live. This is where I am living.'
"Where's Min Ho?"
"She put on 30 pounds."
"How many dogs is she eating? You tell her that I said she's got to go puppies. She's got to start counting calories. She's been eating Great Danes when all she should've been eating is a Yorky. She could put on some duck sauce and she's in business. Thirty pounds? Geez. Is she on prednazone?"
"Some anti-psychotic."
"She got lupus. Who are these chicks you are meeting? You would markedly improve your prospects if you would trim the beard down to six inches. You would still be with the Jews, but you would go from ultra-ultra-Orthodox to just ultra-Orthodox. You would expand your pool from one to at least three. You need to go from Gaza to at least Ramallah. You are looking for purists in Gaza when you should be able to compromise with someone you find in Ramallah.
"It was a whirlwind romance."